Ah, yes. The age-old question that never seems to die: is squirting pee or not? The science clearly indicates it is indeed largely urine. And yet the debate rages on. Why?
(more…)The 10 Best Kinky(ish) Films of 2020
![A close-up of white high-heeled boots on a stage surrounded by dollar bills.](https://i.bound-together.net/wp-content/uploads/naked-ambition-1024x682.jpg)
Normally we attend at least part of CineKink in person—the annual kinky film festival in New York City. But thanks to the pandemic, this year’s showings were virtual, so we got to see nearly all the offerings—some good, some bad, and some in between. Here’s a rundown of our 10 favorite kinky(ish) films (alphabetically) from the festival, which took place earlier this month.
(more…)Research Recap: Is Bad BDSM Letting Men Get Away with Murder?
![A woman's hand outstretched as if to stop someone.](https://i.bound-together.net/wp-content/uploads/Murder-1024x683.jpg)
Is the normalization of BDSM in the media connected to the use of the “sex games gone wrong” defense in murder trials of men who have killed women? New research attempts to answer this question. Here’s what you need to know.
(more…)The Clit Is Key
If you spend more than a few minutes perusing various sex subreddits, you will inevitably encounter posts from men and women wondering why their female partners or they themselves cannot orgasm from PIV alone. I’ve responded to my fair share of such posts to explain that the clit is there for a reason, but these attempts at education often fall on deaf ears.
(more…)STD Rates Are Falling, but Why?
According to a recent New York Times article, STD rates are falling—but not for the reason you might think.
(more…)What’s the Deal with “Rape” Fantasies?
![A person gripping another person's wrist](https://i.bound-together.net/wp-content/uploads/RapeFantasies.png)
If you’ve ever fantasized about someone “forcing” you to have sex, you’re in good company. According to sex educator and researcher Justin Lehmiller, a majority of people of all genders have had “rape” or ravishment fantasies. But why? What causes this taboo thought in so many of us, myself included?
(more…)Rough Body Play: Intro to Face Slapping
![Cartoon image of a woman slapping a man in the face](https://i.bound-together.net/wp-content/uploads/FaceSlap-1024x683.jpg)
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The first time I was slapped in the face during sex was during a kinky hook-up. I was still new to BDSM at the time and wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. The surprise, the taboo of it, my submissiveness—I loved it all. Even though the guy hadn’t hit me that hard, I felt the sting for hours afterward, at least in my mind, and I knew immediately that I wanted to be with someone who would do that to me again. Fortunately, when I met Vagabond, he was more than happy to oblige.
(more…)Who Wants to Negotiate?
(more…)Negotiation is a dialogue between two or more people or parties intended to reach a beneficial outcome over one or more issues where a conflict exists with respect to at least one of these issues.
The Wikipedia definition of negotiation
Survey Says . . .
The New Dominant Survival Guide
![Man walking on deserted beach headed toward mountains](https://i.bound-together.net/wp-content/uploads/NewDominant-1024x666.jpg)
You’ve finally figured out how to label that super sexy way you like to be in control of the object of your desire; congratulations, you’re a dominant! There are as many ways to be dominant in BDSM as there are doms, but following the advice below will make you a better one. If you’re submissive or a non-dominant kinkster, you’re welcome to read on to get a glimpse of what makes a dominant tick, but you should also check out The New Submissive Survival Guide.
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