For new doms, creating a good BDSM scene can seem as mysterious as cooking a gourmet meal without a recipe is to a novice in the kitchen. Where do you start? What ingredients do you use? What do you do if things don’t go according to plan? Here are our answers to those questions.(more…)
Spanking, flogging, and even whipping are all accepted forms of impact play for many kinksters, but rough body play—punching, slapping, kicking, and so on—can make even experienced players flinch (pun intended). Punching in particular seems to get a bad rap even though it can be an intensely visceral way of connecting to your partner if done the right way.(more…)
It’s easy to get a lot of things wrong about BDSM if you learn about it from pop culture, fashion magazines, and most of the top sites on the Internet. When Mimsy was new to BDSM, her education at Google University led her to wonder if there was a place for her in the community as a bedroom-only D/s enthusiast because it seemed like the scene was meant only for 24/7 lifestylers. When Vagabond was starting out, he thought BDSM was all about S/M, impact, and role playing and didn’t discover D/s until later. Over time, we separated the myths and misconceptions from the reality, and now we hope others can learn from our mistakes.(more…)
We interrupt our semi-regularly scheduled posting to bring you this special announcement: We got engaged! Vagabond popped the question in front of the speakeasy in Greenwich Village where we met for our first date three years ago, and Mimsy was overjoyed. On the walk home, the conversation turned kinky.
Vagabond: Asking for your hand was the last question I’m ever going to ask you.
Mimsy: Oh, really? Why’s that?
Vagabond: Because everything else, I’m just going to take.
Needless to say, we’re beyond thrilled to spend the rest of our kinky lives together and would love to figure out a way to give a nod to BDSM at our wedding without tipping off the vanilla folk. Handfasting, for example, is something we’ve considered, because it represents being bound together on two levels: symbolically and, for us, literally, because we practice rope bondage. It’s the kind of thing that will be a recognizable double entendre for our kinky friends, but will be seen as nothing more than a lovely ritual by guests who aren’t in the know.
Are there other things we could incorporate into the wedding or reception that would function on kinky and vanilla levels at the same time? We want to know!
If you’ve had your own kinky wedding, have attended someone else’s, or just have great ideas you’ve tucked away about how to subtly reference BDSM on your special day, we’re all ears. Leave a comment below or contact us directly!
How can you keep things kinky on the go when it’s not always feasible or practical to take all your BDSM gear along with you? Here’s how to avoid a vanilla vacation even when you’re traveling light.(more…)
From vanilla women’s magazines to online forums about kink, the first piece of advice that newbies to BDSM often get is to use a safeword. But the discussion about safewords often stops there. Let’s take a closer look at this often cited but poorly explained mainstay of BDSM.
Looking for the perfect kinky gift to give your special someone this Valentine’s Day or any other day? Here’s our list of recommendations, with a couple of vanilla options thrown in just for kicks.(more…)