If you’ve ever fantasized about someone “forcing” you to have sex, you’re in good company. According to sex educator and researcher Justin Lehmiller, a majority of people of all genders have fantasized about being ravished or “raped.” But why? What causes this taboo thought in so many of us, myself included?(more…)
You’ve finally figured out how to label that super sexy way you like to be in control of the object of your desire; congratulations, you’re a dominant! There are as many ways to be dominant in BDSM as there are doms, but following the advice below will make you a better one. If you’re submissive or a non-dominant kinkster, you’re welcome to read on to get a glimpse of what makes a dominant tick, but you should also check out The New Submissive Survival Guide.(more…)
For new doms, creating good BDSM scenes can seem as mysterious as cooking a gourmet meal without a recipe is to a novice in the kitchen. Where do you start? What ingredients do you use? What do you do if things don’t go according to plan? Here are our answers to those questions.(more…)
Originally posted on September 25, 2018; updated on January 22, 2021
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When I first started getting in touch with my kinky side, I became obsessed with consensual nonconsent (CNC)—also known as rape or ravishment fantasies—as a way to lose control. By obsessed I mean I thought about it daily, researched it constantly, and knew it was something I needed to do. I started reading Casual Encounters on Craigslist regularly (back when that section still existed) to see what my options might be. Ultimately I was too scared to go that route, though, and it wasn’t until I met Vagabond that I was able to make my dream come true. (more…)
A conversation about how we met and started doing rope bondage.
How we Met
Mimsy: When I met you, I had just ended a six-year vanilla relationship a few months before and had been on what one of my friends jokingly called the “fuck tour.” After some tantalizing experiences with kinky guys, the tour came to a screeching halt because I contracted genital HSV-1 and experienced an absolutely horrendous outbreak that left me gun-shy and nervous.
“What are ways to perform oral sex while remaining the
“People I know say that giving a female oral is an inherently
“I trust that you will say ‘yellow’ or ‘red’ if things start to get too intense. You are so safe with me. I’m going to take such good care of you.” And then she smacked me so fucking hard in the face that I thought I would die.
—My journal, May 11, 2012