Dogs Don’t Wear Pants (Koirat eivät käytä housuja), a 2019 Finnish “erotic black comedy,” is billed as a story about the healing power of BDSM. But is it? We weren’t convinced. As kinksters, it’s always a pleasant surprise to find a film where the writer/director has done some homework and attempts to show some aspects of BDSM realistically. Some movies don’t even try. Unfortunately, this story of a man’s struggle with survivor’s guilt and kink addiction displays few elements of healthy, consensual BDSM. We have a lot more to say about this movie and it’s lone developed (male) character. Read on for a recap and critique.(more…)
Although BDSM is often associated with fancy leather or latex outfits and expensive equipment, the truth is you don’t need any of that to partake. You can be just as kinky using homemade gear or things you already own. Here are some of our favorite ways to do BDSM on the cheap.(more…)
There are dozens of articles about the telltale signs of bad dominants in BDSM dynamics, but what about bad submissives? What red flags should doms look for in potential subs, and what behaviors should subs avoid? Here are the top 5 signs of bad submissives that doms should be aware of.(more…)
We’re living proof that a couple that is egalitarian in every way can still enjoy hot BDSM play. This even includes fantasy scenes that toy with sexist gender-normative themes such as slut shaming and CNC. But as much as the BDSM scene purports to be feminist and all about consent, the unfortunate truth is that whatever societal ills plague the vanilla world are just as present in the BDSM community, including misogyny.
The fact that misogyny exists in BDSM shouldn’t be surprising given that the majority of straight men in the BDSM community identify as dominants and the majority of straight women identify as submissives. Of course, this doesn’t mean that all, or even most, male doms are misogynistic. But it does mean that those who are often attempt to hide behind the dominant label. Some male doms forget that BDSM is essentially about role play. Instead, they act as if subs are inferior and don’t deserve to be treated as equals. In its most extreme form, misogyny in BDSM manifests as outright abuse, but it also shows up in less overt forms. Below are a few of the common ways that chauvinistic doms confuse fantasy with reality.
The vast majority of people fantasize about dirty talk during sex, especially people who fantasize about BDSM. But turning these fantasies into reality can be a challenge if you don’t know what to say or are afraid you’ll blurt out something embarrassing that will kill the mood. Our BDSM dirty talk guide brings together everything kinky couples like us need to know based on the best ideas from books, articles, classes, and hours of hot (and occasionally awkward) BDSM research.(more…)