Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM

Resources: Kink

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This page is updated regularly, so be sure to check back often! Everything listed here is something we’ve read, vetted, and/or used. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases made via some of the links below (at no additional cost to you). We may also make money off some of the other links here (at no additional cost to you).

Books
Classes
  • Boundless Events: A San Francisco-based kink community, Boundless offers online classes. Topics have included interrogation scenes, mindfulness for BDSM, and creating amazing scenes.
  • Kink Positive: “A project designed to help spread information, experience, and knowledge in all things related to kink and sex positive thinking,” Kink Positive offers numerous online classes on topics such as pet play, edge play, and scene negotiation.
  • TES: The oldest BDSM organization in the country, TES offers online classes every Tuesday. Topics have included better bottoming for submissives, pegging, and extreme degradation.
  • Wicked Grounds: Wicked Grounds offers a combination of online and in-person classes at their San Francisco event space. Topics for their online classes have included advanced negotiation, dating while kinky, and determining your risk profile.
Gear
  • Oxy: Specializes in gear for chastity, CBT, feet (silicone models and masturbators), and more.
  • Pleasure Chest: Emphasizes sex positivity, inclusivity, and education and offers an assortment of kink gear and other toys online and classes at their stores.
  • Premium Sex Furniture by Fetish Locker: Sex furniture, including slings, spanking benches, queening chairs, and more.
  • Stockroom: Offers a wide variety of BDSM furniture, equipment, and toys. 
videos
  • Communication: Learning from the BDSM Community: In this short video, couples therapist Esther Perel interviews sex therapist Margie Nichols about lessons that society at large can learn from the way the BDSM community approaches consent, communication, and negotiation.
  • Evie Lupine: Lupine’s videos on all aspects of BDSM are thoughtful and insightful educational tools for BDSM newbies, experienced kinksters, or anyone in between.  
  • Kink Academy: A comprehensive kink library of video tutorials on everything from negotiation and safer sex to rope bondage and pony play. Many of the tutorials are free, but members get access to all 2000+ videos. There are some great instructors, including Rain DeGrey, Orpheus Black, and Topologist.
websites
  • BDSM Events Page: An up-to-date listing of BDSM conventions and large-scale events across the U.S. and abroad.
  • BDSM Tip Sheet for Beginners: Invaluable advice by Lady Green and Jay Wiseman that anyone new to BDSM should keep in mind.
  • BDSM Wiki: Comprehensive wiki about all things BDSM related.
  • Best Practices for Consent to Kink: A list of 10 things to know about consent and BDSM published by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.
  • Compilation of Bottoming Classes: A compilation of bottoms throughout the U.S. and Canada who teach classes on various aspects of bottoming, such as CNC, impact, service, and negotiation. Must be a member of FetLife to view.
  • Consent and Negotiations: Detailed resource on all the ins and outs of consent by Shibari Study. While it’s geared toward rope bondage, much of it is applicable to BDSM as a whole.
  • Kink Aware Professionals Directory: A service provided by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom “dedicated to providing the community with a listing of psychotherapeutic, medical, legal and other professionals who have stated that they are knowledgeable about and sensitive to diverse expressions of sexuality.”
  • Kink Education Code of Conduct: This extremely thorough code of conduct was developed by and for kink educators and producers to address a “consent crisis in kink education.” The code also gives anyone who plans to attend a kink-related class or workshop a good idea of how responsible kink educators should behave. The site includes a list of educators who have adopted the code.
  • (K)ink: Writing While Deviant: An ongoing series of personal essays from the Rumpus by writers exploring how their art is connected to their kinky practices.
  • Kynklopedia: A handy dictionary of kink terminology.
  • Music: The link takes you to our Spotify playlist for kinky fun. Our music taste leans toward sexy, lush, and dreamy. Enjoy!
  • Rain DeGrey: Advice, articles, and more about kink, relationships, and sex from former model and pro domme turned educator and writer Rain DeGrey.
  • Shrimp Teeth: A site focused on queer, polyamorous, and kinky education that provides queer peer support, kinky erotica, poly lessons, cool artwork, and more.
  • Slut, Ph.D.: “Sex advice and opinions for the 21st century” from a kinky sociologist. Her post on the “8 Most Misunderstood Things About BDSM” is one of our favorites.
Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM