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Intro to BDSM Knife Play

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Knife with damascus steel blade resting on sheepskin.
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Knife play is the use of knives for sensation, fear, or both in BDSM scenes. Sound exciting? It is! But there’s a lot to learn before you attempt this form of edge play. Our guide covers all the basics. 

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What’s the Difference between Rough Sex and BDSM?

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Bar graph showing percentage of college students who categorize certain activities as rough sex. Choking and hair pulling were most popular.

Spanking, hair pulling, slapping, spitting—these are just some of the activities that a lot of people consider to be part of rough sex. But these acts also fall squarely under the umbrella of BDSM. So is there a difference between rough sex and BDSM? If so, what is it? And if there isn’t, then why don’t more people simply call rough sex BDSM?

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Pro Dommes Requiring COVID-19 Vaccinations

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Many pro dommes in the U.S. and elsewhere are now requiring their subs to get vaccinated before they will agree to session with them. Although some dommes have seen a dip in business because of this requirement, the majority of their subs have complied. Even subs who were initially reluctant usually agreed to get jabbed rather than give up seeing their mistress.

For dommes, requiring vaccinations is the smart and right thing to do given the fact that social distancing isn’t really feasible during most sessions. Vaccine mandates are also in keeping with the BDSM community’s heavy emphasis on safety.

Hopefully this trend will continue!

Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC) BDSM Resources

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This post was originally published on June 21, 2020 and was updated on August 15, 2021.

Black Lives Matter!
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If you’re White, keep reading! Don’t make the mistake of thinking these BIPOC BDSM resources don’t pertain to you. They absolutely do. 

In the wake of the murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and countless other Black people, we, like so many Americans, have joined the effort to prevent such atrocities from occurring in the future. But the changes that need to occur in this country go far beyond ending police brutality. Every community needs to take a step back and reflect on what it can do to not only make space for BIPOC but ensure they are welcome participants and leaders. And the BDSM community is no exception.

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SSC vs. RACK: What’s the Difference?

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Originally posted on October 9, 2018; updated on August 13, 2021

Wooden blocks stacked on top of each other spelling the word "Risk"
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“I am a Dom (switch) and my sub has requested that I drug them and play with/use/have sex with them while they are asleep or near-asleep, in a drugged state. I’m wary . . . but I’d definitely try it if there was a guaranteed safe way of
doing this. . .” —Reddit

Early in our BDSM journeys, we both strongly connected with the popular mantra of practicing Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC) kink. We interpreted this abbreviation to mean that BDSM has an advantage over vanilla sex because of the deliberate acknowledgment of safety between partners.

When we first noticed people replacing it with Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK), we were skeptical. The contrast seemed unnecessary, so we imagined these groups just wanted an edgier tagline—”We’re not safe or sane. We’re risky kinksters!” But once we started looking into the history of both abbreviations, we started to feel differently. (more…)

Movie Recap and Review: Dogs Don’t Wear Pants

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A close-up of a dominatrix's face. She is holding a riding crop.
Movie poster for Dogs Don’t Wear Pants, courtesy of Helsinki Filmi. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases made via one of the links below (at no additional cost to you).

Dogs Don’t Wear Pants (Koirat eivät käytä housuja), a 2019 Finnish “erotic black comedy,” is billed as a story about the healing power of BDSM. But is it? We weren’t convinced. As kinksters, it’s always a pleasant surprise to find a film where the writer/director has done some homework and attempts to show some aspects of BDSM realistically. Some movies don’t even try. Unfortunately, this story of a man’s struggle with survivor’s guilt and kink addiction displays few elements of healthy, consensual BDSM. We have a lot more to say about this movie and it’s lone developed (male) character. Read on for a recap and critique.

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BDSM on the Cheap

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A photo of several wooden spoons, spatulas, and a rolling pin.
As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases made via some of the links below
(at no additional cost to you).

Although BDSM is often associated with fancy leather or latex outfits and expensive equipment, the truth is you don’t need any of that to partake. You can be just as kinky using homemade gear or things you already own. Here are some of our favorite ways to do BDSM on the cheap.

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