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BDSM on the Cheap

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A photo of several wooden spoons, spatulas, and a rolling pin.
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Although BDSM is often associated with fancy leather or latex outfits and expensive equipment, the truth is you don’t need any of that to partake. You can be just as kinky using homemade gear or things you already own. Here are some of our favorite ways to do BDSM on the cheap.

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Misogyny in BDSM Dynamics

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A black woman with hand raised in a "stop" gesture.
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We’re living proof that a couple that is egalitarian in every way can still enjoy hot BDSM play. This even includes fantasy scenes that toy with sexist gender-normative themes such as slut shaming and CNC. But as much as the BDSM scene purports to be feminist and all about consent, the unfortunate truth is that whatever societal ills plague the vanilla world are just as present in the BDSM community, including misogyny.

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The Ultimate Guide to BDSM Dirty Talk

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Man standing behind woman talking in her ear as he pins her hands to a glass door.

The vast majority of people fantasize about dirty talk during sex, especially people who fantasize about BDSM. But turning these fantasies into reality can be a challenge if you don’t know what to say or are afraid you’ll blurt out something embarrassing that will kill the mood. Our BDSM dirty talk guide brings together everything kinky couples like us need to know based on the best ideas from books, articles, classes, and hours of hot (and occasionally awkward) BDSM research.

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A Guide to Spontaneous CNC Scenes

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man holding woman's neck while getting ready to kiss

Aren’t consensual non-consent (CNC) scenes supposed to be carefully planned and negotiated? How can a CNC scene be done safely in the heat of the moment? The answer to the first question is yes! Especially if you have something elaborate in mind. But if you know your partner well, it’s entirely possible to add spontaneous CNC to your kinky repertoire without discussing every detail ahead of time.

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Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About CNC But Were Afraid to Ask

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Originally posted on September 25, 2018; updated on January 22, 2021

Man's arms pinning woman's arms to a wall as if mimicking a CNC BDSM scene

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When I first started getting in touch with my kinky side and learning about BDSM, I became obsessed with consensual nonconsent (CNC). I thought CNC—also known as rape or ravishment fantasies—would be the ultimate way to lose control. By obsessed I mean I thought about it daily, researched it constantly, and knew it was something I needed to do. I started reading Casual Encounters on Craigslist regularly (back when that section still existed) to see what my options might be. Ultimately I was too scared to go that route, though, and it wasn’t until I met Vagabond that I was able to make my dream come true.  (more…)

The 10 Best Kinky(ish) Films of 2020

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A close-up of white high-heeled boots on a stage surrounded by dollar bills.
By Naked Ambition, courtesy of CineKink

Normally we attend at least part of CineKink in person—the annual kinky film festival in New York City. But thanks to the pandemic, this year’s showings were virtual, so we got to see nearly all the offerings—some good, some bad, and some in between. Here’s a rundown of our 10 favorite kinky(ish) films (alphabetically) from the festival, which took place earlier this month.

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