Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM

Latest Posts

The Truth about Punishment in BDSM

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Woman pouting

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One of the most common BDSM aphorisms is that there’s “no one true way.” Yet if you search for “punishment in BDSM” online, you’ll come away with the opposite impression due to two ubiquitous assumptions. The first is that punishment is a given in every D/s dynamic, and the second is that it’s real and leads to true behavior change. Our take? Nope and nope. If, like us, you find yourself not agreeing with these two common assumptions, you’ll be hard pressed to find any BDSM resources to back you up. This is why we’re providing one!

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BDSM Movie Review & Recap: Sanctuary

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close-up of a man and woman in tight embrace
NEON Cinema

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Sanctuary (2022), a taut psychological BDSM drama directed by Zachary Wigon, tells the story of Hal (Christopher Abbott), a wealthy hotel scion who attempts to call off his long-standing arrangement with his pro dom Rebecca (Margaret Qualley). But Rebecca isn’t willing to give him up without a fight, and emotional and physical chaos ensue.

As the latest entry into the BDSM film catalog, there’s a lot to appreciate about Sanctuary. It’s clear the filmmakers did their research and portrayed some authentic aspects of a kinky dynamic, even though it’s pushed over the top for the sake of the drama. Perhaps predictably, this is not the film to watch if you want pointers on how to conduct a healthy BDSM dynamic, but it does a number of things quite well if you view it through the lens of fantasy.

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BDSM When Life Gets in the Way

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Two people clasping hands

Over time, most couple’s sex lives ebb and flow—and the same is true with BDSM. Grief, illness, and other stressful life events can and do interfere with BDSM. This was our situation recently after the death of an immediate family member followed by illness. Even though these kinds of lulls are inevitable in a long-term relationship, we didn’t want to let the BDSM spark fade completely because it helps us sustain the romance, fun, and connection in our relationship. We came up with a few ways to keep our BDSM dynamic alive when life gets in the way, which may work for you as well.

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A guide to BDSM Safety for Bottoms and Subs

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Man and woman facing each other; woman's hands are handcuffed behind her back.

If you’re a bottom or a sub, you may think your job in BDSM is to follow your dom’s lead. After all, you’re not the one tying people up or dishing out the punishments. But just because you’re not in charge of the scene doesn’t mean you aren’t responsible for understanding what’s happening and doing your part to ensure it goes smoothly. These BDSM safety tips will help you play more safely, stay informed, and have even more fun in your scenes.

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Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM