If you haven’t seen Killing Eve, chances are you’ve heard about it—the show about Eve, a buttoned-up British intelligence agent, and Villanelle, the charming sociopath assassin she’s after. Much has been written about the show’s excellent acting and writing, strong female characters, and the sexual orientations of Eve and Villanelle. But something that has been curiously and consistently overlooked is that this show is kinky as fuck. In fact, when viewed through a BDSM lens, the LGBT themes in the show quickly take a backseat to a pervasive switchy voyeurism/exhibitionism dynamic that’s fueled by danger.
We interrupt our semi-regularly scheduled posting to bring you this special announcement: We got engaged! Vagabond popped the question in front of the speakeasy in Greenwich Village where we met for our first date three years ago, and Mimsy was overjoyed. On the walk home, the conversation turned kinky.
Vagabond: Asking for your hand was the last question I’m ever going to ask you. Mimsy: Oh, really? Why’s that? Vagabond: Because everything else, I’m just going to take. Mimsy:[swoons]
Needless to say, we’re beyond thrilled to spend the rest of our kinky lives together and would love to figure out a way to give a nod to BDSM at our wedding without tipping off the vanilla folk. Handfasting, for example, is something we’ve considered, because it represents being bound together on two levels: symbolically and, for us, literally, because we practice rope bondage. It’s the kind of thing that will be a recognizable double entendre for our kinky friends, but will be seen as nothing more than a lovely ritual by guests who aren’t in the know.
Are there other things we could incorporate into the wedding or reception that would function on kinky and vanilla levels at the same time? We want to know!
If you’ve had your own kinky wedding, have attended someone else’s, or just have great ideas you’ve tucked away about how to subtly reference BDSM on your special day, we’re all ears. Leave a comment below or contact us directly!
At this year’s CineKink film festival in New York City, we saw a collection of kinky shorts that ran the gamut from terrible to wonderful and everything in between. Here’s our take on the eight short films we saw.
From vanilla women’s magazines to online forums about kink, the first piece of advice that newbies to BDSM often get is to use a safeword. But the discussion about safewords often stops there. Let’s take a closer look at this often cited but poorly explained mainstay of BDSM.
The start of your submissive BDSM journey is an exciting time, but where do you begin? What signs should you look for along the way? What if you encounter obstacles? While there is no one true way to be submissive, there are some basic guideposts that will help you navigate the road ahead.
“Am I still a submissive if I only act that way in the bedroom?” “Am I still doing BDSM if I’m not doing it 24/7?” The answer is “of course!” but it’s no wonder that questions like these abound given the amount of conflicting information about BDSM that’s available and how much of it seems to ignore or belittle non-24/7 dynamics. If what you’ve read elsewhere makes you feel like an imposter, we’re here to set the record straight.
If you’ve spent more than a few minutes researching BDSM, you know that negotiation, or the process of deciding what will and will not happen in a scene, is one of the cornerstones. Much has been written about how to negotiate before a scene with a new play partner. Tools, from worksheets to checklists to illustrated guides, abound to help you cover all the bases and inspire you to dream up new fantasies. Here’s how to take those negotiation skills and weave them into the fabric of your relationship. (more…)