A new study explores the relationship between BDSM roles, gender, and sexual satisfaction. Here’s what you need to know.
(more…)Research Recap: How Do BDSM Roles Impact Sexual Satisfaction?
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Playing It Safe: The Ins and Outs of Safewords
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From vanilla women’s magazines to online forums about kink, the first piece of advice that newbies to BDSM often get is to use a safeword. But the discussion about safewords often stops there. Let’s take a closer look at this often cited but poorly explained mainstay of BDSM.
The New Submissive Survival Guide
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The start of your submissive BDSM journey is an exciting time, but where do you begin? What signs should you look for along the way? What if you encounter obstacles? While there is no one true way to be submissive, there are some basic guideposts that will help you navigate the road ahead.
(more…)Give the Gift of Kink!
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Looking for the perfect kinky gift to give your special someone this Valentine’s Day or any other day? Here’s our list of recommendations, with a couple of vanilla options thrown in just for kicks.
(more…)The Bottom Line: Bedroom-Only D/s Is Still D/s
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“Am I still a submissive if I only act that way in the bedroom?” “Am I still doing BDSM if I’m not doing it 24/7?” The answer is “of course!” but it’s no wonder that questions like these abound given the amount of conflicting information about BDSM that’s available and how much of it seems to ignore or belittle non-24/7 dynamics. If what you’ve read elsewhere makes you feel like an imposter, we’re here to set the record straight.
(more…)How to Negotiate the Kinky Sex of Your Dreams with the One You Love
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If you’ve spent more than a few minutes researching BDSM, you know that negotiation, or the process of deciding what will and will not happen in a scene, is one of the cornerstones. Much has been written about how to negotiate before a scene with a new play partner. Tools, from worksheets to checklists to illustrated guides, abound to help you cover all the bases and inspire you to dream up new fantasies. Here’s how to take those negotiation skills and weave them into the fabric of your relationship. (more…)
The Only Kinky Movies You’ll Ever Need to See
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Originally posted on August 5, 2018; updated on January 5, 2019
In recent years, there have been a slew of lists in mainstream media (usually timed with the release of yet another 50 Shades movie) identifying “the best BDSM movies” or movies that “do BDSM better than 50 Shades” (a pretty low bar, if you ask us).
5 Ways to Up Your Kink Game in the New Year
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As the year comes to a close, it’s once again time to think about New Year’s resolutions. Rather than simply vowing to eat better and exercise more, why not add a kinky resolution to the list? Here are five ideas that are both valuable and achievable. (more…)
Sex Shouldn’t Hurt—Unless You Want It To: Living with Vulvar Pain
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One day in the summer of 2004, I woke up with what I thought was a UTI. I’d had them before and detected the tell-tale burning sensation. I made an appointment with my gynecologist. Little did I know that this would be the beginning of a condition I’d never even heard of but that would leave me in chronic pain for years to come.
(more…)Rope Roundup
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We fell in love with rope bondage at the beginning of our relationship, and it’s still a pivotal part of our play today. Not unlike wine connoisseurs, rope enthusiasts can be opinionated snobs, and we’re no different. The following guide is a breakdown of the pros and cons of the myriad types of rope on the market from the perspective of the rope bottom and the rigger and is a result of our experimentation over the years. We’ve discovered that there is no perfect rope for everything; there are always trade-offs. So whether you’re a masochist who loves suspension, or just want an upgrade from your faux fur restraints, we recommend you keep a few of the following ropes at the ready. (more…)
