Latest Posts

The Bottom Line: Bedroom-Only D/s Is Still D/s

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Woman blindfolded on bed with one wrist in handcuffs. Man behind her holds other end of handcuffs.
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“Am I still a submissive if I only act that way in the bedroom?” “Am I still doing BDSM if I’m not doing it 24/7?” The answer is “of course!” but it’s no wonder that questions like these abound given the amount of conflicting information about BDSM that’s available and how much of it seems to ignore or belittle non-24/7 dynamics. But we’re here to set the record straight. Bedroom-only dominance and submission (D/s) is just as legitimate as 24/7 D/s.

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How to Negotiate the Kinky Sex of Your Dreams with the One You Love

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Man and woman on bed together smiling at each other.

If you’ve spent more than a few minutes researching BDSM, you know that negotiation, or the process of deciding what will and will not happen in a scene, is one of the cornerstones. Much has been written about how to negotiate before a scene with a new play partner. Tools, from worksheets to checklists to illustrated guides, abound to help you cover all the bases and inspire you to dream up new fantasies. Here’s how to take those negotiation skills and weave them into the fabric of your relationship. (more…)

The Only Kinky Movies You’ll Ever Need to See

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Scene from the movie Belle de Jour in which Catherine Deneuve's wrists are bound with rope while a man kisses her neck.
Belle de Jour

Originally posted on August 5, 2018; updated on January 5, 2019

In recent years, there have been a slew of lists in mainstream media (usually timed with the release of yet another 50 Shades movie) identifying “the best BDSM movies” or movies that “do BDSM better than 50 Shades” (a pretty low bar, if you ask us). But do these roundups really represent the best kinky movies?

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Sex Shouldn’t Hurt—Unless You Want It To: Living with Vulvar Pain

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woman in underwear holding two signs--a frown emoji and SOS

One day in the summer of 2004, I woke up with what I thought was a UTI. I’d had them before and detected the tell-tale burning sensation. I made an appointment with my gynecologist. Little did I know that this would be the beginning of a condition I’d never even heard of but that would leave me in chronic pain for years to come: vulvodynia.

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Rope Roundup

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We fell in love with rope bondage at the beginning of our relationship, and it’s still a pivotal part of our play today. Not unlike wine connoisseurs, rope enthusiasts can be opinionated snobs, and we’re no different. The following guide is a breakdown of the pros and cons of the myriad types of rope on the market for bondage from the perspective of the rope bottom and the rigger. We’ve discovered that there is no perfect rope for everything; there are always trade-offs. So whether you’re a masochist who loves suspension, or just want an upgrade from your faux fur restraints, we recommend you keep a few of the following ropes at the ready.  (more…)

I’m Not a Slut, but I Play One in Bed

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Sign that says "I Am Not a Slut" but "Not" is crossed out
We may earn a small commission (at no additional cost to you) from Amazon if you make a purchase via the link included in this post.

Slut, whore, cunt, bitch—what do these words have in common? If your answer is “degrading terms typically used to describe women,” you’d be correct. But if you said “names that Mimsy likes to be called in bed,” you’d also be right. So how is it that words I find highly offensive outside the bedroom are unbelievably hot in it? Welcome to the world of erotic humiliation. (more…)

Never Fucking Satisfied (Or Vice Versa): A Kinkster at a Swinger Party

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One fruit meant to symbolize a vagina surrounded by other arrangements of fruit and vegetables meant to resemble penises and testicles.

In the following true story, the names have been changed but the dicks are real.

“What exactly is a ‘fun’ swinger party to you? Sucked off 9 times and fucked by 14 people??” a friend texted me. I had just described my evening at a hotel swinger party, an experience that would be a fulfilling sexual adventure by many people’s standards.

“I think I’m just not a swinger,” I replied. (more…)

Bound Together

One couple’s insights into BDSM. About us.






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