One of my first truly kinky experiences was with a guy who bent me over on his couch, lifted up my dress, and spanked me until my ass was red and bruised. I didn’t want him to stop, but was it because I got off on pain or was it because of something else that I couldn’t yet identify? (more…)
Originally posted on September 25, 2018; updated on November 2, 2019
When I first started getting in touch with my kinky side, I became obsessed with consensual nonconsent (CNC)—also known as rape or ravishment fantasies—as a way to lose control. By obsessed I mean I thought about it daily, researched it constantly, and knew it was something I needed to do. I started reading Casual Encounters on Craigslist regularly (back when that section still existed) to see what my options might be. Ultimately I was too scared to go that route, though, and it wasn’t until I met Vagabond that I was able to make my dream come true. (more…)
It’s easy to get a lot of things wrong about BDSM if you learn about it from pop culture, fashion magazines, and most of the top sites on the Internet. When Mimsy was new to BDSM, her education at Google University led her to wonder if there was a place for her in the community as a bedroom-only D/s enthusiast because it seemed like the scene was meant only for 24/7 lifestylers. When Vagabond was starting out, he thought BDSM was all about S/M, impact, and role playing and didn’t discover D/s until later. Over time, we separated the myths and misconceptions from the reality, and now we hope others can learn from our mistakes.(more…)
Originally posted on August 5, 2018; updated on January 5, 2019
In recent years, there have been a slew of lists in mainstream media (usually timed with the release of yet another 50 Shades movie) identifying “the best BDSM movies” or movies that “do BDSM better than 50 Shades” (a pretty low bar, if you ask us).
We fell in love with rope bondage at the beginning of our relationship, and it’s still a pivotal part of our play today. Not unlike wine connoisseurs, rope enthusiasts can be opinionated snobs, and we’re no different. The following guide is a breakdown of the pros and cons of the myriad types of rope on the market from the perspective of the rope bottom and the rigger and is a result of our experimentation over the years. We’ve discovered that there is no perfect rope for everything; there are always trade-offs. So whether you’re a masochist who loves suspension, or just want an upgrade from your faux fur restraints, we recommend you keep a few of the following ropes at the ready. (more…)
Confession: I’m a sub who has never experienced subspace. (more…)
“I trust that you will say ‘yellow’ or ‘red’ if things start to get too intense. You are so safe with me. I’m going to take such good care of you.” And then she smacked me so fucking hard in the face that I thought I would die.
—My journal, May 11, 2012
We’re a monogamous, feminist couple with kids in our 40s who practice BDSM in the bedroom and in the scene. We started Bound Together because we thought our experiences and ideas about kink might be of interest to others who are either in a similar boat or who are just curious.
A little about us . . .
I’m a heterosexual submissive cis woman who followed a long and circuitous path to BDSM. Although I had an inkling I was kinky in my early 20s, I didn’t have the vocabulary to describe it or the wherewithal to truly explore those feelings until much later, after being in a series of vanilla relationships, including a marriage. In my late 30s, I realized that something was missing and began seeking kinky encounters. I quickly decided there was no going back.
I’m a heterosexual cis man. As a kid, I fantasized about bound women, and electrocuted myself with medical equipment, but I didn’t understand I was kinky until the end of my marriage. My first Internet date was at age 35 and landed me at a surreal BDSM yacht party. After years of “research and development” of BDSM and relationship styles, I discovered that I’m dominant, monogamous, and just a little bit of a masochist.
We met on a vanilla dating app in 2016. Vagabond had “kinky” in his profile, which caught Mimsy’s eye. We had amazing chemistry from the start and it didn’t take us long to realize we wanted to be together for the long haul. We live together in New York City and have Vagabond’s two children with us half the time. We both have full-time jobs that often require us to work overtime, so we’re active in the kink scene, but only as much as our schedules allow. We have a D/s dynamic in the bedroom, and our play often involves rope bondage, impact, degradation, knife play, and CNC. Our relationship with each other and with BDSM is constantly evolving. Bound Together is a part of that evolution.