Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM

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The Legality of Erotic Choking

By Mimsy Borogoves
In BT Bights
May 1, 2023
1 Min Read
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A recent article published by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom provides an overview of the legality of erotic choking and breath play across the U.S. The main takeaway is that breath play in some form is illegal in almost all states. Here are some data points:

  • In only 4 states, consent is a defense to choking someone.
  • In 11 states, erotic choking is legal as long as no one gets hurt.
  • In all 50 states, the following activities are legal:
    • Breath play that involves telling someone else to hold their own breath or cover their own nose and mouth
    • Neck grasping that doesn’t involve pressure and squeezing
    • Gags, hoods, and collars that don’t prevent normal breathing

Check out our detailed guide on breath play and choking in BDSM for techniques and safety tips.

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Netflix’s Obsession: A Damaged Story about BDSM

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Entertainment
April 27, 2023
7 Min Read
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Man and woman about to kiss with the word Obsession below.

As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases made via one of the links below (at no additional cost to you). Note: this post contains spoilers. 

While much has already been written about Netflix’s four-part erotic thriller Obsession, the focus has been on the thin plot, overwrought music, and cringeworthy moments. But what about the BDSM and kink in Obsession that numerous click-baity headlines have mentioned? Just how kinky is this series? And is its portrayal of BDSM and kinky people authentic?

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Do “Fake” Doms Really Exist?

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Dominance
March 30, 2023
4 Min Read
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Man in a suit holding a mask

There are dozens of warnings in the BDSM community about fake doms* and how to spot them. They’re inexperienced, they’re physically or emotionally abusive, they ignore limits and safewords, they gain submission through fear tactics, and so on. But is it correct to call these people “fake” doms? Or are they bad, real doms? Is there a difference?

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Essential Rope Bondage Tips for Beginners

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Basics, Rope
February 23, 2023
9 Min Read
E
Woman's arms and upper body tied up with red and black rope
Photographer and rigger: Vagabond; model: Mimsy

When people ask for beginner rope bondage advice, the response is often that they should pay to join an advanced shibari tutorial website. While information on the intricacies of shibari and rope suspension may be useful for people who are farther along in their rope journey, this isn’t an accessible entry point for those who are just starting out. Here, we’ve collected some essential, user-friendly tips and tutorials for rope bondage beginners.

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Bondage Rope Roundup

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Rope
February 20, 2023
6 Min Read
B

Originally published Dec. 5, 2018; updated Feb. 20, 2023

Multiple hanks of rope

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We fell in love with rope bondage at the beginning of our relationship, and it’s still a pivotal part of our play today. When you’re new to bondage, it can be overwhelming. What kind of rope should you buy? How do you decide? This guide is a breakdown of the pros and cons of the myriad types of rope on the market for bondage.

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There’s No One True Way to Do BDSM

By Mimsy Borogoves
In Basics
December 29, 2022
6 Min Read
T
Scissors cutting a piece of paper with the word RULES on it

When I first realized I might be kinky and started researching BDSM, I wondered whether the abbreviation described me. I knew I was sexually submissive, but I wasn’t a masochist, nor was I interested in a 24/7 dynamic. Yet everything I read online led me to believe those were natural, if not essential, traits and goals for a submissive. It took some time for me to realize that many BDSM “requirements” aren’t requirements at all and that beyond a few basic principles, there’s no one true way to do any of it.

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Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About CNC But Were Afraid to Ask

By Mimsy with contributions from Vagabond
In Communication, Dominance, How-To Guides, Submission
December 5, 2022
20 Min Read
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Originally posted on September 25, 2018; updated on December 5, 2022

Man pinning woman's wrists to wall

As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases made via one of the links below (at no additional cost to you).

When I first started getting in touch with my kinky side and learning about BDSM, I became obsessed with consensual nonconsent (CNC). I thought CNC—also known as rape or ravishment fantasies—would be the ultimate way to lose control. By obsessed I mean I thought about it daily, researched it constantly, and knew it was something I needed to do. I started reading Casual Encounters on Craigslist regularly (back when that section still existed) to see what my options might be. Ultimately I was too scared to go that route, though, and it wasn’t until I met Vagabond that I was able to make my dream come true. 

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The Biggest BDSM Beginner Mistakes 

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Basics
November 23, 2022
9 Min Read
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Blocks that spell out Do's and Don'ts

Once you realize you’re kinky, it can be tempting to dive headfirst into BDSM without taking the time to learn some basic do’s and don’ts. We certainly made our fair share of missteps in the beginning! We’ve grouped some of the most common BDSM beginner mistakes into four categories: basic misunderstandings, too much too soon, unsafe practices, and fear of failure. Let’s take a closer look at each one.

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The Best Examples of BDSM on TV

By Mimsy Borogoves
In Entertainment
October 27, 2022
11 Min Read
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Yasmin and Robert from Industry standing next to each other on treadmills
Yasmin and Robert in Industry. Photograph by Amanda Searle/HBO.

As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases made via some of the links below (at no additional cost to you).

Some of the best depictions of BDSM—specifically D/s—on TV appear in shows that aren’t about BDSM at all. And sometimes the D/s is so subtle to those who aren’t in the know that it escapes reviewers’ attention. But that’s part of what makes it so fun to spot if you are kinky! It’s like you and the writers are in on a little secret. In this post, we’ll explore some of the best examples of BDSM and D/s on TV that are hiding in plain sight.  

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Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM