Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM

Posts

The Bottom Line: Bedroom-Only D/s Is Still D/s

By Mimsy with contributions from Vagabond
In Basics, Submission
January 21, 2019
6 Min Read
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Woman blindfolded on bed with one wrist in handcuffs. Man behind her holds other end of handcuffs.

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“Am I still a submissive if I only act that way in the bedroom?” “Am I still doing BDSM if I’m not doing it 24/7?” The answer is “of course!” but it’s no wonder that questions like these abound given the amount of conflicting information that’s available and how much of it seems to ignore or belittle bedroom-only D/s dynamics. But we’re here to set the record straight. Bedroom-only dominance and submission (D/s) is just as legitimate as 24/7 D/s.

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How to Negotiate BDSM with a Partner

By Mimsy with contributions from Vagabond
In Communication, How-To Guides
January 10, 2019
6 Min Read
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Man and woman on bed together smiling at each other.

If you’ve spent more than a few minutes researching BDSM, you know that negotiation, or the process of deciding what will and will not happen in a scene, is one of the cornerstones. Much has been written about how to negotiate before a scene with a new play partner. Tools, from worksheets to checklists to illustrated guides, abound to help you cover all the bases and inspire you to dream up new fantasies. Here’s how to take those negotiation skills and weave them into the fabric of your relationship. (more…)

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The Art of Erotic Humiliation

By Mimsy Borogoves
In Submission
November 20, 2018
6 Min Read
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Sign that says "I Am Not a Slut" but "Not" is crossed out

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(at no additional cost to you).

Slut, whore, cunt, bitch—what do these words have in common? If your answer is “degrading terms typically used to describe women,” you’d be correct. But if you said “names that Mimsy likes to be called in bed,” you’d also be right. So how is it that words I find highly offensive outside the bedroom are unbelievably hot in it? Welcome to the world of erotic humiliation. (more…)

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A Kinkster at a Swinger Sex Party

By Vagabond
In Entertainment
November 7, 2018
7 Min Read
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One fruit meant to symbolize a vagina surrounded by other arrangements of fruit and vegetables meant to resemble penises and testicles.

In the following true story, the names have been changed but the dicks are real.

“What exactly is a ‘fun’ swinger sex party to you? Sucked off 9 times and fucked by 14 people??” a friend texted me. I had just described my evening at a hotel swinger party, an experience that would be a fulfilling sexual adventure by many people’s standards.

“I think I’m just not a swinger,” I replied. (more…)

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BDSM Is a Place We Go

By Mimsy with contributions from Vagabond
In Basics
October 24, 2018
4 Min Read
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Doors opening to a dramatic view of a lush valley with mountains in the background.

“Sex isn’t something you do; it’s a place you go.” —Esther Perel, Couples Therapist and Author

In my past long-term vanilla relationships, the sex and desire always faded, and in some cases dwindled to almost nothing, usually around the same time the guy and I moved in together. There were myriad reasons for this: physical ailments, depression, lack of communication, mismatched libidos, lack of true chemistry. But the heart of the matter was, well, the heart. The familiarity and affectionate routines that inevitably developed over time, and were enhanced by living together, encroached on eroticism and eventually smothered it. Metaphorically, sex wasn’t a place we went because there was nowhere to go. The people we were during sex were the same people we were in the rest of life. Sex wasn’t a departure from ourselves; it was merely a continuation. (more…)

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The Power of Consent

By Mimsy Borogoves
In Basics
October 2, 2018
5 Min Read
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Sign reading "Teach Consent"

On the eve of Supreme Court Justice nominee Brett Kavanaugh’s hearing in which Christine Blasey Ford would deliver wrenching testimony about how Kavanaugh sexually assaulted her in high school, my partner, Vagabond, tied me up, hit me, slapped me in the face, called me a slut and a whore, and fucked my brains out. I loved every second of it and all of our BDSM scenes. How? Consent. (more…)

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Roped into Love

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Dominance, Rope, Submission
September 9, 2018
6 Min Read
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A conversation about how we met and started doing rope bondage.

How we Met

Mimsy: When I met you, I had just ended a six-year vanilla relationship a few months before and had been on what one of my friends jokingly called the “fuck tour.” After some tantalizing experiences with kinky guys, the tour came to a screeching halt because I contracted genital HSV-1 and experienced an absolutely horrendous outbreak that left me gun-shy and nervous.

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Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM