This weekend, we attended Shay Tiziano’s virtual class “Stand Back—I’m Going to Try Science!” as part of Ropecraft’s Homebound conference. Shay is one of our BDSM heroes and loves to geek out on the science of kink.
(more…)Benign Masochism
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365 Things Wrong with 365 Days
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In case you haven’t heard, there’s a new 50 Shades Polish knock-off called 365 Days that, despite being widely panned by critics, has become a Netflix sensation due to its “mind-blowing bondage” and other racy sex scenes. The movie tells the story of Massimo, an Italian mob boss, who kidnaps Laura, a Polish woman he’s obsessed with, and gives her 365 days to fall in love with him. (What could possibly go wrong?!) While some have defended the movie as pure fantasy, it presents a warped view of consent and BDSM that may be confusing to its many Gen Z fans.
Although there are undoubtedly 365 things wrong with 365 Days, we’ll spare you the minutiae and focus on 5 big ones. We’ve spoiled it so you won’t have to suffer through it. You’re welcome.
(more…)Research Recap: Are Leathermen Misogynists?
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The Hottest Thing in a BDSM Relationship? Trust.
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Would you let someone you don’t trust spank you, tie you up, and call you names? Probably not. Trust is integral to a BDSM relationship and is ultimately what makes any kind of power exchange so hot. Taking another person’s control away or letting them take it from you is thrilling, risky, and raw. Without trust, neither partner can completely let go and enjoy the moment. But with trust, BDSM and power exchange can bring partners closer together and eventually pave the way to rougher or riskier play.
(more…)Kink in the Time of the Coronavirus
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As the coronavirus (COVID-19) continues to wreak havoc across the globe, many of us are living under restricted and isolated circumstances that are challenging, to say the least. Suddenly, all the activities we took for granted in our “old” lives—hanging out with friends, going out to eat, stress-free sex—seem like ancient history as we struggle to find a new sense of equilibrium. But in the midst of all this chaos and uncertainty due to the coronavirus, kink and BDSM can provide a crucial way to regain a sense of control.
(more…)BDSM Convention Tips: Top 10 Things to Know Before You Go
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The first time we attended a BDSM convention, we had no tips to follow and no idea what to expect. Would we fit in? Would we know what to do? What to wear? The short answer is yes! BDSM conventions warmly welcome everyone regardless of age or body type. Further, we were relieved to discover that BDSM “cons” share more similarities with other types of conventions than you might guess: educational sessions, vendors, social events, and crappy hotel food. Of course, most conventions don’t include dungeons.
(more…)Playing Dress-Up: What to Wear to Kink Events
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“Fetish Costumes Only! No Casual Street Clothes! No Jeans!” If you’ve ever considered going to a kink event but hesitated because of seemingly strict dress codes like this one, you’re not alone. The good news is that it’s very unlikely you’ll need to buy a closet full of fetish wear to attend a BDSM party or even a BDSM convention. With a little creativity, you can whip up something perfectly suitable using what you already own.
(more…)How to Create the Best BDSM Scenes
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Rough Body Play: How to Punch Someone You Care About
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Kink Academy link below.
Spanking, flogging, and even whipping are all accepted forms of impact play for many kinksters, but rough body play—punching, slapping, kicking, and so on—can make even experienced players flinch (pun intended). Punching in particular seems to get a bad rap even though it can be an intensely visceral way of connecting to your partner if done the right way.
(more…)10 Myths about BDSM
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It’s easy to get a lot of things wrong about BDSM if you learn about it from pop culture, fashion magazines, and most of the top sites on the Internet. When Mimsy was new to BDSM, her education at Google University led her to wonder if there was a place for her in the community as a bedroom-only D/s enthusiast because it seemed like the scene was meant only for 24/7 lifestylers. When Vagabond was starting out, he thought BDSM was all about S/M, impact, and role playing and didn’t discover D/s until later. Over time, we separated the BDSM myths and misconceptions from the reality, and now we hope others can learn from our mistakes.
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