You’ve finally figured out how to label that super sexy way you like to be in control of the object of your desire; congratulations, you’re a dominant! There are as many ways to be dominant in BDSM as there are doms, but following the advice below will make you a better one. If you’re submissive or a non-dominant kinkster, you’re welcome to read on to get a glimpse of what makes a dominant tick, but you should also check out The New Submissive Survival Guide.
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Unfortunately, the D/s themes that were so prominent in seasons 1 and 2 of Killing Eve are far more muted in season 3—except for a phenomenal scene in the third episode (spoiler alert).
(more…)This weekend, we attended Shay Tiziano’s virtual class “Stand Back—I’m Going to Try Science!” as part of Ropecraft’s Homebound conference. Shay is one of our BDSM heroes and loves to geek out on the science of kink.
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In case you haven’t heard, there’s a new 50 Shades Polish knock-off called 365 Days that, despite being widely panned by critics, has become a Netflix sensation due to its “mind-blowing bondage” and other racy sex scenes. The movie tells the story of Massimo, an Italian mob boss, who kidnaps Laura, a Polish woman he’s obsessed with, and gives her 365 days to fall in love with him. (What could possibly go wrong?!) While some have defended the movie as pure fantasy, it presents a warped view of consent and BDSM that may be confusing to its many Gen Z fans.
Although there are undoubtedly 365 things wrong with 365 Days, we’ll spare you the minutiae and focus on 5 big ones. We’ve spoiled it so you won’t have to suffer through it. You’re welcome.
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Would you let someone you don’t trust spank you, tie you up, and call you names? Probably not. Trust is integral to a BDSM relationship and is ultimately what makes any kind of power exchange so hot. Taking another person’s control away or letting them take it from you is thrilling, risky, and raw. Without trust, neither partner can completely let go and enjoy the moment. But with trust, BDSM and power exchange can bring partners closer together and eventually pave the way to rougher or riskier play.
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As the coronavirus (COVID-19) continues to wreak havoc across the globe, many of us are living under restricted and isolated circumstances that are challenging, to say the least. Suddenly, all the activities we took for granted in our “old” lives—hanging out with friends, going out to eat, stress-free sex—seem like ancient history as we struggle to find a new sense of equilibrium. But in the midst of all this chaos and uncertainty due to the coronavirus, kink and BDSM can provide a crucial way to regain a sense of control.
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The first time we attended a BDSM convention, we had no tips to follow and no idea what to expect. Would we fit in? Would we know what to do? What to wear? The short answer is yes! BDSM conventions warmly welcome everyone regardless of age or body type. Further, we were relieved to discover that BDSM “cons” share more similarities with other types of conventions than you might guess: educational sessions, vendors, social events, and crappy hotel food. Of course, most conventions don’t include dungeons.
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“Fetish Costumes Only! No Casual Street Clothes! No Jeans!” If you’ve ever considered going to a kink event but hesitated because of seemingly strict dress codes like this one, you’re not alone. The good news is that it’s very unlikely you’ll need to buy a closet full of fetish wear to attend a BDSM party or even a BDSM convention. With a little creativity, you can whip up something perfectly suitable using what you already own.
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