Who Wants To Negotiate?


Negotiation is a dialogue between two or more people or parties intended to reach a beneficial outcome over one or more issues where a conflict exists with respect to at least one of these issues.

The Wikipedia definition of negotiation

Mimsy and I have been musing about how kinksters use the word negotiation to describe the super hot “what are you into?” conversation that often precedes BDSM scenes. In my mind, negotiation feels too stiff—like we’re suggesting that we all have to give up something we want in pursuit of a good kinky time. Of course, there’s give and take in every kinky or sexy act, but I’d hardly consider agreeing to swap my belt for some bamboo rope “overcoming a conflict.”

We did a little more digging into the origin and definition of negotiation. Its roots can be traced back to business (according to etymonline.com, it literally derives from the phrase “lack of leisure”).

The dictionary definitions tend toward the softer and broader, “discussion aimed at reaching an agreement.” That’s a much more inviting way to describe getting down to business.

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