Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM

Basics

The Hottest Thing in a BDSM Relationship? Trust.

By Mimsy Borogoves
In Basics, Communication
April 27, 2020
7 Min Read
T
Wartenberg wheel on bare skin

Would you let someone you don’t trust spank you, tie you up, and call you names? Probably not. Trust is integral to a BDSM relationship and is ultimately what makes any kind of power exchange so hot. Taking another person’s control away or letting them take it from you is thrilling, risky, and raw. Without trust, neither partner can completely let go and enjoy the moment. But with trust, BDSM and power exchange can bring partners closer together and eventually pave the way to rougher or riskier play.

(more…)
Read on1 Comment

Kink in the Time of the Coronavirus

By Mimsy Borogoves
In Basics, Health
March 30, 2020
4 Min Read
K
Bird flying out of birdcage as if freed for the first time.

As the coronavirus (COVID-19) continues to wreak havoc across the globe, many of us are living under restricted and isolated circumstances that are challenging, to say the least. Suddenly, all the activities we took for granted in our “old” lives—hanging out with friends, going out to eat, stress-free sex—seem like ancient history as we struggle to find a new sense of equilibrium. But in the midst of all this chaos and uncertainty due to the coronavirus, kink and BDSM can provide a crucial way to regain a sense of control.

(more…)
Read onAdd Comment

BDSM Convention Tips: Top 10 Things to Know Before You Go

By Mimsy with contributions from Vagabond
In Basics
February 24, 2020
9 Min Read
B
Kinky sex toys on top of clothes in an open suitcase

The first time we attended a BDSM convention, we had no tips to follow and no idea what to expect. Would we fit in? Would we know what to do? What to wear? The short answer is yes! BDSM conventions warmly welcome everyone regardless of age or body type. Further, we were relieved to discover that BDSM “cons” share more similarities with other types of conventions than you might guess: educational sessions, vendors, social events, and crappy hotel food. Of course, most conventions don’t include dungeons.

(more…)
Read onAdd Comment

Playing Dress-Up: What to Wear to Kink Events

By Mimsy Borogoves
In Basics
January 27, 2020
5 Min Read
P
Woman wearing lingerie under a cropped jacket

We may make money off one of the links below at no additional cost to you.

“Fetish Costumes Only! No Casual Street Clothes! No Jeans!” If you’ve ever considered going to a kink event but hesitated because of seemingly strict dress codes like this one, you’re not alone. The good news is that it’s very unlikely you’ll need to buy a closet full of fetish wear to attend a BDSM party or even a BDSM convention. With a little creativity, you can whip up something perfectly suitable using what you already own.

(more…)
Read onAdd Comment

Rough Body Play: How to Punch Someone You Care About

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Basics, How-To Guides, Masochism
November 10, 2019
5 Min Read
R
Two fists in a fist bump

We may earn a small commission (at no additional cost to you) if you make a purchase via the
Kink Academy link below.

Spanking, flogging, and even whipping are all accepted forms of impact play for many kinksters, but rough body play—punching, slapping, kicking, and so on—can make even experienced players flinch (pun intended). Punching in particular seems to get a bad rap even though it can be an intensely visceral way of connecting to your partner if done the right way.

(more…)
Read onAdd Comment

10 Myths about BDSM

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Basics
September 23, 2019
6 Min Read
1
A unicorn labeled "myth" next to a rhino labeled "reality"

It’s easy to get a lot of things wrong about BDSM if you learn about it from pop culture, fashion magazines, and most of the top sites on the Internet. When Mimsy was new to BDSM, her education at Google University led her to wonder if there was a place for her in the community as a bedroom-only D/s enthusiast because it seemed like the scene was meant only for 24/7 lifestylers. When Vagabond was starting out, he thought BDSM was all about S/M, impact, and role playing and didn’t discover D/s until later. Over time, we separated the BDSM myths and misconceptions from the reality, and now we hope others can learn from our mistakes.

(more…)
Read onAdd Comment

Calling All Kinky Wedding Ideas

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Basics
June 10, 2019
2 Min Read
C
Man and woman holding hands, their wrists tied together with a ribbon

Dear Readers,

We interrupt our semi-regularly scheduled posting to bring you this special announcement: We got engaged! Vagabond popped the question in front of the speakeasy in Greenwich Village where we met for our first date three years ago, and Mimsy was overjoyed. On the walk home, the conversation turned kinky.

(more…)
Read on3 Comments

Get Your Kinks on Route 66: BDSM and Travel

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Basics
May 14, 2019
5 Min Read
G
Image of woman sitting on a chair wearing panty hose behind a door with a "Please do not disturb" sign on it

As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases made via some of the links below (at no additional cost to you). We may also make money off some of the other links below.

How can you keep things kinky when you travel if it’s not feasible or practical to take all your BDSM gear along with you? Here’s how to avoid a vanilla vacation even when you’re traveling light.

(more…)
Read onAdd Comment
Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM