Give the Gift of Kink!

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Looking for the perfect kinky gift to give your special someone this Valentine’s Day or any other day? Here’s our list of recommendations, with a couple of vanilla options thrown in just for kicks.

  • Kinky Letter. Love letters have become a thing of the past in this day and age, but why not revive this tradition and put a spin on it by writing a kinky letter to your SO laying out a fantasy in delicious detail? Write it on a card you design yourself or on one of these BDSM-themed cards from TheNaughtyValentine. Not only does this provide a lasting memento of your lust but it’s a great way for those of you who clam up in person to say what’s on your mind.
  • Sexy Nude. Send your SO a nude of yourself. If this is something you already do on the regular, consider changing the way you do it. If you normally hold the phone, prop it up against something instead. If you’re usually totally naked, leave more to the imagination. If you never use props, try incorporating one. And if you’re a nude newbie, just do whatever you feel comfortable doing. If you want to splurge, look into doing a session with a professional boudoir or fetish photographer.
  • Books. There are a decent number of books related to BDSM on the market (check out our Resources page for some specific ideas), from guides for beginners that cover all the basics to books that focus on specific interests, such as rope bondage. Your local sex shop may sell some of them, but you’ll likely find a better selection online.
  • Kink Class. BDSM classes at sex shops or other venues often have nominal fees, and you can find a list of what’s coming up in your area on FetLife. If you don’t have access to in-person education, Kink Academy has a number of free online tutorials on everything from negotiation and safer sex to rope bondage and pony play. Many of the tutorials are free, but members get access to all 2000+ videos. There are some great instructors, including Rain DeGrey, Orpheus Black, and Topologist. (We may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you if you sign up via the link.)
  • OMGYes. If your SO is a woman who’s expressed an interest in exploring her own paths to pleasure, consider buying her the first season of OMGYes, a unique website devoted to increasing women’s pleasure. It features interviews with women about what gets them off in which they demonstrate their techniques on their own vulvas (in a non-porny way). This is coupled with scientific information about women’s pleasure based on research conducted in partnership with the Kinsey Institute as well as simulations in which you get to practice the techniques shown on digital models of these real women’s vulvas as they give you feedback. It’s an excellent tool for women who want to get to know their own bodies better as well as for partners. A one-time fee grants you permanent access to 12 episodes in Season 1. Future seasons are in the making.
  • New Toy. Go to your favorite sex shop—either brick and mortar or online—and get your SO a new toy that one or both of you has had their eye on. If you don’t know what they might like, you can go the gift card route instead. To add more of a personal touch, accompany them to the store or on an online shopping spree so you can explore and pick something out together. Alternatively, if you’re worried about the cost, take a trip to your local hardware or home goods store and see what household items can be used as pervertibles. You’d be surprised what you can use to fulfill your deviant desires when you put your mind to it.
  • Ropey Gifts. In addition to books, there are a few other directions you can explore related to rope. Buy your SO some of their favorite rope that they know and love, or branch out and try a new kind that you’ve never used before. (See our Rope Roundup to figure out which kinds you want to try.) Not all rope vendors are created equal, so choose wisely. Two of our favorites are Twisted Monk and Agreeable Agony. If your SO is a rigger, consider getting them a subscription to world-class shibari video tutorials by Gorgone, M Hatter, or Nina Russ and Bruce Esinem.
  • Kink Event. If you prefer experiential gifts over tangible ones, take your SO to a kink event. Entry fees for play parties are generally under 100 dollars for a couple and give you the opportunity to watch as many scenes as you want or participate in your own. If money is less of a concern, consider taking your SO to a BDSM convention where you can attend classes and play parties and be around other kinksters for an entire weekend or longer. If you want less education and more entertainment, look into other types of events, such as kinky film festivals. CineKink is one that happens in New York City every spring.
  • Lingerie or Fetish Wear. If you’re going to a kink event, you and your SO will need something to wear. Of course you can stick to a classic all black look, but lingerie and fetish wear are also fun avenues to go down. Lingerie is easy to come by and ranges from very cheap to very expensive depending on the manufacturer. Fetish wear, such as latex, can be quite pricey, but the look screams BDSM. Sex shops that tilt toward BDSM often sell a variety of fetish wear. There are also specialty purveyors, such as the Baroness, that have a specific focus (latex and rubber in that case). Even if you aren’t going to an event, you can dress up for your own private enjoyment at home!

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