As the year comes to a close, it’s once again time to think about New Year’s resolutions. Rather than simply vowing to eat better and exercise more, why not add kinky resolutions to the list? Here are five ideas that are both valuable and achievable.
(more…)Sex Shouldn’t Hurt (Unless You Want It To): Living with Vulvar Pain
One day in the summer of 2004, I woke up with what I thought was a UTI. I’d had them before and detected the tell-tale burning sensation. I made an appointment with my gynecologist. Little did I know that this would be the beginning of a condition I’d never even heard of but that would leave me in chronic pain for years to come: vulvodynia.
(more…)The Art of Erotic Humiliation
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Slut, whore, cunt, bitch—what do these words have in common? If your answer is “degrading terms typically used to describe women,” you’d be correct. But if you said “names that Mimsy likes to be called in bed,” you’d also be right. So how is it that words I find highly offensive outside the bedroom are unbelievably hot in it? Welcome to the world of erotic humiliation. (more…)
A Kinkster at a Swinger Sex Party
In the following true story, the names have been changed but the dicks are real.
“What exactly is a ‘fun’ swinger sex party to you? Sucked off 9 times and fucked by 14 people??” a friend texted me. I had just described my evening at a hotel swinger party, an experience that would be a fulfilling sexual adventure by many people’s standards.
“I think I’m just not a swinger,” I replied. (more…)
BDSM Is a Place We Go
“Sex isn’t something you do; it’s a place you go.” —Esther Perel, Couples Therapist and Author
In my past long-term vanilla relationships, the sex and desire always faded, and in some cases dwindled to almost nothing, usually around the same time the guy and I moved in together. There were myriad reasons for this: physical ailments, depression, lack of communication, mismatched libidos, lack of true chemistry. But the heart of the matter was, well, the heart. The familiarity and affectionate routines that inevitably developed over time, and were enhanced by living together, encroached on eroticism and eventually smothered it. Metaphorically, sex wasn’t a place we went because there was nowhere to go. The people we were during sex were the same people we were in the rest of life. Sex wasn’t a departure from ourselves; it was merely a continuation. (more…)