Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM

Dominance

A Guide to BDSM Brats and Brat Taming

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Dominance, How-To Guides, Submission
October 31, 2024
8 Min Read
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Scene from The Breakfast Club of a group of teens sitting in a row sullenly.
A pack of brats.

“This rule is ridiculous,” the brat said, rolling their eyes. “And I’d break it again.”

The dom didn’t disagree. “You told me you want me to hold you accountable, and that’s what I intend to do.”

“Make me!”

With the end of Brat Summer and the dawn of Brat Fall, it’s high time to educate the world about brat play in BDSM. Being a brat is similar to what it sounds like, but in this guide to BDSM brats and brat taming we’ll dive into some of the nuances and complexities that other online resources often ignore. We’ll also continue the brat scene example drawn from real experiences that we started above.

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Do “Fake” Doms Really Exist?

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Dominance
March 30, 2023
4 Min Read
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Man in a suit holding a mask

There are dozens of warnings in the BDSM community about fake doms* and how to spot them. They’re inexperienced, they’re physically or emotionally abusive, they ignore limits and safewords, they gain submission through fear tactics, and so on. But is it correct to call these people “fake” doms? Or are they bad, real doms? Is there a difference?

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Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About CNC But Were Afraid to Ask

By Mimsy with contributions from Vagabond
In Communication, Dominance, How-To Guides, Submission
December 5, 2022
20 Min Read
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Originally posted on September 25, 2018; updated on December 5, 2022

Man pinning woman's wrists to wall

As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases made via one of the links below (at no additional cost to you).

When I first started getting in touch with my kinky side and learning about BDSM, I became obsessed with consensual nonconsent (CNC). I thought CNC—also known as rape or ravishment fantasies—would be the ultimate way to lose control. By obsessed I mean I thought about it daily, researched it constantly, and knew it was something I needed to do. I started reading Casual Encounters on Craigslist regularly (back when that section still existed) to see what my options might be. Ultimately I was too scared to go that route, though, and it wasn’t until I met Vagabond that I was able to make my dream come true. 

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Misogyny in BDSM Dynamics

By Mimsy Borogoves
In Basics, Dominance
April 25, 2021
6 Min Read
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A black woman with hand raised in a "stop" gesture.

As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases made via some of the links below (at no additional cost to you).

We’re living proof that a couple that is egalitarian in every way can still enjoy hot BDSM play. This even includes fantasy scenes that toy with sexist gender-normative themes such as slut shaming and CNC. But as much as the BDSM scene purports to be feminist and all about consent, the unfortunate truth is that whatever societal ills plague the vanilla world are just as present in the BDSM community, including misogyny.

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The Ultimate Guide to BDSM Dirty Talk

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Basics, Communication, Dominance, How-To Guides, Submission
March 28, 2021
9 Min Read
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Man standing behind woman talking in her ear as he pins her hands to a glass door.

The vast majority of people fantasize about dirty talk during sex, especially people who fantasize about BDSM. But turning these fantasies into reality can be a challenge if you don’t know what to say or are afraid you’ll blurt out something embarrassing that will kill the mood. Our BDSM dirty talk guide brings together everything kinky couples like us need to know based on the best ideas from books, articles, classes, and hours of hot (and occasionally awkward) BDSM research.

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The New Dominant Survival Guide

By Vagabond
In Basics, Dominance
August 25, 2020
6 Min Read
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Man walking on deserted beach headed toward mountains

You’ve finally figured out how to label that super sexy way you like to be in control of the object of your desire; congratulations, you’re a dominant! There are as many ways to be dominant in BDSM as there are doms, but following the advice below will make you a better one. If you’re submissive or a non-dominant kinkster, you’re welcome to read on to get a glimpse of what makes a dominant tick, but you should also check out The New Submissive Survival Guide.

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Roped into Love

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Dominance, Rope, Submission
September 9, 2018
6 Min Read
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A conversation about how we met and started doing rope bondage.

How we Met

Mimsy: When I met you, I had just ended a six-year vanilla relationship a few months before and had been on what one of my friends jokingly called the “fuck tour.” After some tantalizing experiences with kinky guys, the tour came to a screeching halt because I contracted genital HSV-1 and experienced an absolutely horrendous outbreak that left me gun-shy and nervous.

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Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM