BDSM Blog – Bound Together

BDSM When Life Gets in the Way

July 27, 2023

4 Min Read

Over time, most couple’s sex lives ebb and flow—and the same is true with BDSM. Grief, illness, and other stressful life events can and do interfere with BDSM. This was our situation recently after the death of an immediate family member followed by illness. Even though these kinds of lulls are inevitable in a long-term relationship, we didn’t want to let the BDSM spark fade completely because it helps us sustain the romance, fun, and connection in our relationship. We came up with a few ways to keep our BDSM dynamic alive when life gets in the way, which may work for you as well.

(more…)

Read on Add Comment

A guide to BDSM Safety for Bottoms and Subs

By Mimsy Borogoves

In Basics, How-To Guides, Submission

June 29, 2023

7 Min Read

Man and woman facing each other; woman's hands are handcuffed behind her back.

If you’re a bottom or a sub, you may think your job in BDSM is to follow your dom’s lead. After all, you’re not the one tying people up or dishing out the punishments. But just because you’re not in charge of the scene doesn’t mean you aren’t responsible for understanding what’s happening and doing your part to ensure it goes smoothly. These BDSM safety tips will help you play more safely, stay informed, and have even more fun in your scenes.

(more…)

Read on Add Comment

Are Kinky People Born or Made?

By Mimsy and Vagabond

In Basics, Research

May 25, 2023

5 Min Read

Once you realize you’re kinky, it’s natural to start wondering why. Were you born this way, or did something happen to spur your interest in BDSM? The nature vs. nurture debate is far from settled, but we’ve taken a look at our own paths to BDSM as well as available research to see what it can tell us.

(more…)

Read on 2 Comments

Playing It Safe: The Ins and Outs of Safewords

By Mimsy and Vagabond

In Basics

May 16, 2023

6 Min Read

Originally posted on March 4, 2019; updated on May 16, 2023

As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases made via some of the links below
(at no additional cost to you).

From vanilla women’s magazines to online forums about kink, the first piece of advice that newbies to BDSM often get is to use a safeword. But the discussion about safewords often stops there. Let’s take a closer look at this often cited but poorly explained mainstay of BDSM.

(more…)

Read on Add Comment

The Legality of Erotic Choking

By Mimsy Borogoves

In BT Bights

May 1, 2023

1 Min Read

A recent article published by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom provides an overview of the legality of erotic choking and breath play across the U.S. The main takeaway is that breath play in some form is illegal in almost all states. Here are some data points:

In only 4 states, consent is a defense to choking someone.
In 11 states, erotic choking is legal as long as no one gets hurt.
In all 50 states, the following activities are legal:
- Breath play that involves telling someone else to hold their own breath or cover their own nose and mouth
- Neck grasping that doesn’t involve pressure and squeezing
- Gags, hoods, and collars that don’t prevent normal breathing

Check out our detailed guide on breath play and choking in BDSM for techniques and safety tips.

Read on Add Comment

Latest Posts