Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM

Communication

How to Negotiate BDSM with a Partner

H
Man and woman on bed together smiling at each other.

If you’ve spent more than a few minutes researching BDSM, you know that negotiation, or the process of deciding what will and will not happen in a scene, is one of the cornerstones. Much has been written about how to negotiate before a scene with a new play partner. Tools, from worksheets to checklists to illustrated guides, abound to help you cover all the bases and inspire you to dream up new fantasies. Here’s how to take those negotiation skills and weave them into the fabric of your relationship. (more…)

The Importance of a Shared Kink Language: A Conversation About Negotiation

T

Mimsy: On our first date, you mentioned the importance of having a “shared language” to talk about BDSM and kink. Although I had some experience doing kinky things and had researched terminology, I didn’t quite grasp what you were getting at until later—namely that a shared language helps provide a framework for play and ensures that everyone who’s involved understands how negotiation should work.
(more…)

Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM