Communication Archives – Page 2 of 2

January 10, 2019

6 Min Read

Man and woman on bed together smiling at each other.

If you’ve spent more than a few minutes researching BDSM, you know that negotiation, or the process of deciding what will and will not happen in a scene, is one of the cornerstones. Much has been written about how to negotiate before a scene with a new play partner. Tools, from worksheets to checklists to illustrated guides, abound to help you cover all the bases and inspire you to dream up new fantasies. Here’s how to take those negotiation skills and weave them into the fabric of your relationship. (more…)

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6 Traits of Successful BDSM Players

By Mimsy and Vagabond

In Basics, Communication

September 18, 2018

4 Min Read

woman with mischievous smile wearing devil horns headband

So, you identify as a top or a bottom, a dominant or a submissive, or really any kind of kinkster. Now what? Contrary to popular belief, the qualities that make a good top/dominant or a good bottom/submissive in BDSM are more alike than different. (more…)

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D Is for Dominance

By Vagabond

In Communication, Dominance, Masochism

August 1, 2018

6 Min Read

Man pinning a woman's wrists against a brick wall.

“I trust that you will say ‘yellow’ or ‘red’ if things start to get too intense. You are so safe with me. I’m going to take such good care of you.” And then she smacked me so fucking hard in the face that I thought I would die.
—My journal, May 11, 2012

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The Importance of a Shared Kink Language: A Conversation About Negotiation

By Mimsy and Vagabond

In Communication

July 18, 2018

3 Min Read

Mimsy: On our first date, you mentioned the importance of having a “shared language” to talk about BDSM and kink. Although I had some experience doing kinky things and had researched terminology, I didn’t quite grasp what you were getting at until later—namely that a shared language helps provide a framework for play and ensures that everyone who’s involved understands how negotiation should work.
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