BDSM Resources

This page is updated regularly, so be sure to check back often! Everything listed here is something we’ve read, vetted, and/or used. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases made via some of the links below (at no additional cost to you). We may also make money off some of the other links here (at no additional cost to you).

Perspectives from Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC)

• Chills Down My Spinal Degeneration: Why We Need Black Queer Disabled Kink: Jade T. Perry explains the benefits of kink for people with disabilities: “It was Blackqueerdisabledkink knowledge that taught me how revolutionary my bed could be.”
• Fetish & Submission from a Black Person’s Perspective: Performance artist and porn performer Bishop Black explains what it’s like to buck certain stereotypes as a Black male sub in the kink scene.
• Fifty Shades of Nope: Being Fetishized as a Person of Color in Kink: This article by Vianca Masucci addresses the negative influence of the Fifty Shades franchise on BDSM practitioners generally and people of color specifically. She recounts multiple anecdotes of being fetishized and stereotyped within the kink community.
• Finding Freedom in Black BDSM: This article by Goddess Honey B and Kharyshi Wiginton explores how “Black folks’ practice of BDSM is inherently subversive, and offers a medium by which we can shift our relationship and understanding to power and redefine who we are as people and as sexual beings.”
• The History & Myths of Japanese Bondage: Midori dismantles the traditional Western story about the history of shibari, noting that “investing in a romantic but false narrative of a culture and its people is another form of “othering.”   
• How Asian American Dominatrixes Use Stereotypes to Their Advantage in the Fetish World: This article by Tiffany Diane Tso explores how several NYC-based pro-dommes simultaneously buck and benefit from stereotypes about Asian women.
• How Kink Helps These Latinas Heal Cultural Wounds: This article features multiple Latinas who discuss their kink journeys and how they overcame feelings of shame and cultural taboos.
• In the World of Black Kink: Sexologist Marla Stewart gives an interesting overview of the history of Black people in kink.
• The Issue With Being Black and Kinky: In this response to Luna Malbroux’s article (linked below), BDSM educator and male dominant Orpheus Black writes about the long history of conservative attitudes toward sex among many BIPOC and his own experience of being ostracized by family and friends when they discovered he was poly and kinky. 
• Kinky: The Documentary: This funny and illuminating documentary about Black BDSM practitioners includes interviews with experienced Black kinksters as well as “people on the street” in New York. 
• My Sexuality Has a Dark Side—And Maybe Yours Does Too: In this article by Black feminist kinkster Feminista Jones, she addresses the vulnerability of Black s-types in particular, noting that “With kink communities being so marginalized and Black kink communities being even more isolated, it becomes even more difficult to speak out against those who violate others.” 
• Our Desire, Our Power: QTBIPOC BDSM and Consent: In this article, Noor, a self-described queer, trans, nonbinary, brown, spoonie, explains the importance of consent within the QTBIPOC BDSM community, noting that “by centering BIPOC agency and desire through consent- and desire-focused spaces like QTBIPOC-focused BDSM, we can disrupt the cycle of abuse interpersonally and systematically.”
• People of Color Kinky & Loving It: This brief book is a compilation of interviews with kinky people of color who provide tips and resources for BIPOC new to the scene and reflect on what BDSM means to them.
• Queer Dominatrix Yin Q Is Shattering Asian Stereotypes: This interview with former pro domme Yin Q focuses on her efforts to normalize BDSM and upend Asian stereotypes in her web series Mercy Mistress, which is based on her own experiences.
• Take the Pleasure Back: Journalist Brandy Collins takes an in-depth look at steps being taken in the Bay Area BDSM scene to upend stereotypes about BIPOC in kink and be more inclusive.
• Tension with Intention: The Role of Kink/BDSM in the Anti-Racist Conversation: In this video, Shakti Bliss Bunny and YumYumPanda, two BIPOC kinksters who teach rope classes, discuss cultural appropriation and racism as they pertain to the rope scene in particular, which is widely considered to be one of the most privileged arenas of BDSM.  
• When You Want to Be Into BDSM But It’s Too Soon Because You’re Black: Luna Malbroux recounts some of the problems she’s encountered as a Black woman exploring BDSM, including fetishization, stereotyping, and contending with the legacy of slavery.
• Yes, Master: The Complicated Life of a Black Woman Who Gets Off on Being a Sex Slave: Feminista Jones discusses the complexities of being a Black woman who identifies as a BDSM slave and the mental work she had to do to reconcile the two.

BIPOC BDSM Educators 

• Eternal Angel: A pro domme and BDSM educator specializing in mental health in BDSM, edge play, and more. Her videos on Kink Academy focus on rough body play. 
• Midori: Highly experienced sexuality and BDSM educator who teaches and writes on a range of topics, including female domination, rope, and humiliation. Author of The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, among other books. We attended a rope class she taught a number of years ago that included a riveting demo that we still talk about today.  
• Mollena Williams-Haas: Renowned BDSM educator, author, and slave who is a thought leader on race play and power exchange dynamics, among other things. Evie Lupine’s interview with her on M/s relationships and taboo play is excellent.   
• Orpheus Black: Dominant specializing in knife play, flogging, and other aspects of BDSM, which are covered in his videos on Kink Academy. We attended a flogging class he taught at a convention, and it was by far the best class we went to there.
• Robin Wilson-Beattie: Disability and sexuality health educator with a number of videos on Kink Academy related to BDSM and disability.

• AidAccess: An organization that provides access to abortion pills via telemedicine from Europe no matter where you live in the U.S.
• American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists Referral Directory: Directory of sexuality educators, counselors, and therapists in the U.S. and other countries.
• The Difference Between BDSM and Abuse: An explanation from the National Domestic Violence Hotline about the difference between BDSM and abuse.
• Herpes Handbook: This reliable guide from a renowned herpes clinic provides up-to-date factual information on HSV-1 and 2.
• Jen Gunter: Ob/gyn Gunter strives to debunk pervasive myths and junk science surrounding women’s health. Have a question about vaginas? She’s probably answered it.
• Kink Aware Professionals Directory: A service provided by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom “dedicated to providing the community with a listing of psychotherapeutic, medical, legal and other professionals who have stated that they are knowledgeable about and sensitive to diverse expressions of sexuality.”
• National Vulvodynia Association: While you have to pay to become a member of the NVA, there are some free resources on the site. Members receive newsletters, and educational materials, access to state-specific lists of health care professionals who specialize in this condition, and more.
• Plan C: Up-to-date information on how to access abortion pills in the U.S.
• Sexual Abuse and Assault: Helping Survivors “works to educate and empower individuals impacted by sexual abuse with information, connections, and resources to help them understand their rights and options to seek justice, accountability, and healing.”
• STI Risk and Oral Sex – CDC Fact Sheet: A comprehensive rundown on what STIs can be transmitted during oral and what you can do to prevent them.
• The Vagina Bible: This excellent guide to vaginal and vulvar health by Dr. Jen Gunter should be required reading for everyone who has a vagina. She explains all the medical ins and outs of the vagina and vulva and dispels myriad myths along the way.

• A Curious History of Sex: Although not about BDSM, this book by Kate Lister (author of the Whores of Yore website) contains a treasure trove of fascinating and amusing information about sex through the ages, including sex and food, sex and hygiene, sex work, and more.
• An Essay About “the Old Days”: Jay Wiseman recalls what the BDSM scene was like in the 1970s.
• The History & Myths of Japanese Bondage: Midori dismantles the traditional Western story about the history of shibari, noting that “investing in a romantic but false narrative of a culture and its people is another form of “othering.”
• History & Arts of the Dominatrix: A blog about historical aspects of BDSM and women’s sexuality by sexuality educator, historian, and author Anne O. Nomis.
• The History of DS and Its Kin: This essay by Dusk Peterson explains how the terms “dominant” and “submissive” entered the BDSM lexicon.
• “Old Gods Die Hard”: In his 2014 speech, Guy Baldwin dives into the fascinating history of the leather world’s Old Guard and dispels some of the more prevalent myths about leather culture.
• Original Pride: The Satyrs Motorcycle Club: This documentary tells the story of the Satyrs Motorcycle Club, an early and pivotal influence on the gay leather scene, through interviews with many longtime members.
• Sadomasochism and the BDSM Community in the United States: This much-needed book by Stephen K. Stein chronicles the history of the American BDSM community, from its fractured beginnings in the 1940s, through its heyday in the 80s and 90s, and its subsequent diffusion in the 21st century.
• Voluptuous Panic: The Erotic World of Weimar Berlin: A lavishly illustrated book by Mel Gordon about sex in Berlin—including BDSM—after World War I when the city’s nightlife was at its peak before the Nazis came to power.
• Where Angels Fear to Tread: Feminism, Sex and the Problem of SM, 1969–1993: A fascinating dissertation by Alex Ellis Warner on the history of the lesbian BDSM community and its impact on the rift among feminists during this timeframe.

Books

• Creating Captivating Classes: A Guide for Kink, Sexuality, and Relationship Presenters: This book by Shay and Stefanos Tiziano breaks down exactly how to teach kinky educational classes. Topics include creating class outlines, how to conduct demos, common pitfalls for newbie presenters, and more. Plus, the book includes a number of interviews with well-known kink educators, each of whom focuses on a different aspect of the craft.
• Different Loving: Based on interviews with hundreds of kinksters, authors Gloria and William Brame and Jon Jacobs take the reader on a guided tour of dozens of facets of BDSM. This book is an excellent resource for newbies and old hands alike.
• Enough to Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation (Updated Edition): In this excellent guide, the fabulous Princess Kali walks readers through all the ins and outs of humiliation and degradation. A must-read for novices and experts alike.
• Flogging: This extremely thorough guide to flogging by veteran BDSM educator Joseph Bean covers everything you need to know about flogging techniques, negotiation, flogger care, and more through sample scenes and detailed explanations.
• How to be a Healthy and Happy Submissive: In this essential guide for novice female submissives, Kate Kinsey covers all the ins and outs of submission and clearly separates fact from fiction. In her second book, What Submissives Want to Know: Real Questions, Real Answers, she gives advice to real-life subs.
• How To Make Your First BDSM Scene Amazing: Although this short book is directed at dominant women, the practical, solid advice author Sharyn Ferns offers is relevant to anyone who’s new to constructing BDSM scenes.
• The Loving Dominant: This influential book teaches new tops how to explore BDSM with all five senses.
• The Pleasure’s All Mine: The Memoir of a Professional Submissive: Given the abundance of pro domme memoirs, this personal account from the other side of the slash by Joan Kelly is a breath of fresh air.
• Safe, Sane and Consensual: Contemporary Perspectives on Sadomasochism: This anthology of academic works about BDSM includes essays on the history of BDSM, legality, theory, research, and more with an emphasis on BDSM in the UK.
• Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: One of our favorites, this classic and charming book by Molly Devon and Philip Miller imparts realistic wisdom about BDSM, and D/s in particular, based on the authors’ decades of experience. Although the book is especially useful for people in a male dom/female sub dynamic, the information is pertinent to anyone looking to engage in BDSM.
• Sex with Shakespeare: In this memoir, Jillian Keenan explains how her love of Shakespeare helped her accept her spanking fetish. Keenan is a vocal member of the spanko community.
• Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities: Written by two kink-aware therapists, this book presents case studies of various problems kinky people face, guides readers on how to find a kink-aware therapist, and more. Geared toward practitioners of BDSM as well as therapists.
• Spanking for Lovers: This thorough guide to spanking by Janet Hardy includes tips on positions, techniques, safety, and more.
• Thinking Kink: The Collision of BDSM, Feminism and Popular Culture: This book by Catherine Scott examines the portrayal of BDSM in books, TV shows, movies, and music through a feminist lens.
• Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships: This book by sex educator and coach Stella Harris advises readers how to use communication skills to get the most out of their sex, kink, and love lives.
• The Toybag Guide to Playing with Taboo: This slim volume by Mollena Williams explores some kinks that are considered to be taboo even within the BDSM community (e.g., religion, race play, bodily fluids, etc.) and what to consider if you want to venture into this territory.

Classes

• Boundless Events: A San Francisco-based kink community, Boundless offers online classes. Topics have included interrogation scenes, mindfulness for BDSM, and creating amazing scenes.
• Kink Positive: “A project designed to help spread information, experience, and knowledge in all things related to kink and sex positive thinking,” Kink Positive offers numerous online classes on topics such as pet play, edge play, and scene negotiation.
• TES: The oldest BDSM organization in the country, TES offers online classes every Tuesday. Topics have included better bottoming for submissives, pegging, and extreme degradation.
• Wicked Grounds: Wicked Grounds offers a combination of online and in-person classes at their San Francisco event space. Topics for their online classes have included advanced negotiation, dating while kinky, and determining your risk profile.

Gear

• Oxy: Specializes in gear for chastity, CBT, feet (silicone models and masturbators), and more.
• Pleasure Chest: Emphasizes sex positivity, inclusivity, and education and offers an assortment of kink gear and other toys online and classes at their stores.
• Premium Sex Furniture by Fetish Locker: Sex furniture, including slings, spanking benches, queening chairs, and more.
• Stockroom: Offers a wide variety of BDSM furniture, equipment, and toys. 

videos

• Communication: Learning from the BDSM Community: In this short video, couples therapist Esther Perel interviews sex therapist Margie Nichols about lessons that society at large can learn from the way the BDSM community approaches consent, communication, and negotiation.
• Evie Lupine: Lupine’s videos on all aspects of BDSM are thoughtful and insightful educational tools for BDSM newbies, experienced kinksters, or anyone in between.  
• Kink Academy: A comprehensive kink library of video tutorials on everything from negotiation and safer sex to rope bondage and pony play. Many of the tutorials are free, but members get access to all 2000+ videos. There are some great instructors, including Rain DeGrey, Orpheus Black, and Topologist.

websites

• BDSM Tip Sheet for Beginners: Invaluable advice by Lady Green and Jay Wiseman that anyone new to BDSM should keep in mind.
• BDSM Wiki: Comprehensive wiki about all things BDSM related.
• Best Practices for Consent to Kink: A list of 10 things to know about consent and BDSM published by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.
• Compilation of Bottoming Classes: A compilation of bottoms throughout the U.S. and Canada who teach classes on various aspects of bottoming, such as CNC, impact, service, and negotiation. Must be a member of FetLife to view.
• Consent and Negotiations: Detailed resource on all the ins and outs of consent by Shibari Study. While it’s geared toward rope bondage, much of it is applicable to BDSM as a whole.
• Kink Aware Professionals Directory: A service provided by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom “dedicated to providing the community with a listing of psychotherapeutic, medical, legal and other professionals who have stated that they are knowledgeable about and sensitive to diverse expressions of sexuality.”
• Kink Education Code of Conduct: This extremely thorough code of conduct was developed by and for kink educators and producers to address a “consent crisis in kink education.” The code also gives anyone who plans to attend a kink-related class or workshop a good idea of how responsible kink educators should behave. The site includes a list of educators who have adopted the code.
• Kink Love: Resources for Kinksters: Kink author and educator Evie Vane’s compilation of resources about various BDSM activities, including age play, impact, pet play, rope, and more. Also includes BDSM events and a list of dungeons by state.
• (K)ink: Writing While Deviant: An ongoing series of personal essays from the Rumpus by writers exploring how their art is connected to their kinky practices.
• Kynklopedia: A handy dictionary of kink terminology.
• Music: The link takes you to our Spotify playlist for kinky fun. Our music taste leans toward sexy, lush, and dreamy. Enjoy!
• Rain DeGrey: Advice, articles, and more about kink, relationships, and sex from former model and pro domme turned educator and writer Rain DeGrey.
• Shrimp Teeth: A site focused on queer, polyamorous, and kinky education that provides queer peer support, kinky erotica, poly lessons, cool artwork, and more.
• Slut, Ph.D.: “Sex advice and opinions for the 21st century” from a kinky sociologist. Her post on the “8 Most Misunderstood Things About BDSM” is one of our favorites.

• Dominatrix: Gender, Eroticism, and Control in the Dungeon: Sociologist Danielle Lindemann based this book on interviews with more than 50 pro dommes in NYC and San Francisco. The result is a nuanced portrait of how this form of erotic labor does and doesn’t reflect dynamics in the rest of life.
• Playing on the Edge: Sadomasochism, Risk, and Intimacy: In this book, ethnographer Staci Newmahr draws on her extensive firsthand observations of and participation in a BDSM community in NYC in the early 2000s to explore the nuances of pain, eroticism, gender dynamics, edge play, intimacy, and other aspects of BDSM.
• Please Scream Quietly: A Story of Kink: This fascinating book by sociologist and kinkster Julie Fennell digs into the norms and nuances of the public BDSM scene, including what kinds of people are attracted to the scene, the values that the scene teaches and promotes, and how the scene differs from the rest of society.
• Sadomasochism: Powerful Pleasures: This collection features research studies and papers by scholars in the fields of sexology, psychology, and sexual minority advocacy. It “discusses the results of research into practitioners’ behaviors and perspectives, the prevalence of SM behaviors in today’s culture, and stresses the need for greater tolerance and understanding.”
• Safe, Sane and Consensual: Contemporary Perspectives on Sadomasochism: This anthology of academic works about BDSM includes essays on the history of BDSM, legality, theory, research, and more with an emphasis on BDSM in the UK.
• Science of BDSM: Publications, presentations, and more from a team of academics and community members who seek to “understand the nature, dynamics, motivations, and effects of BDSM activities and relationships.”
• Sex and Psychology: Articles on sex, love, and relationships by social psychologist Justin Lehmiller, author of Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life.
• “What a Fake ‘Female Orgasm’ Statistic Says About Gender Bias”: Detailed analysis and debunking of an oft-cited “statistic” claiming that it takes women 20 minutes to achieve orgasm on average.

Studies

• Are Role and Gender Related to Sexual Function and Satisfaction in Men and Women Practicing BDSM? (2019): See our analysis of this study here.
• Associations between Sexually Submissive and Dominant Behaviors and Sexual Function in Men and Women (2023): See our analysis of this study here.
• BDSM: Does It Hurt or Help Sexual Satisfaction, Relationship Satisfaction, and Relationship Closeness? (2021): See our analysis of this study here.
• BDSM in North America, Europe, and Oceania: A Large-Scale International Survey Gauging BDSM Interests and Activities (2023)
• BDSM Practitioners’ Understandings of Their Initial Attraction to BDSM Sexuality: Essentialist and Constructionist Narratives (2012)
• BDSM Proclivity Among College Students (2022): See our analysis of this study here.
• Between Pleasure and Pain: A Pilot Study on the Biological Mechanisms Associated With BDSM Interactions in Dominants and Submissives (2020)
• Challenge at the Intersection of Race and Kink: Racial Discrimination, Fetishization, and Inclusivity Within the BDSM Community (2021)
• Directness of Communication Mediates Sexual Satisfaction: What We Can Learn from a Positive View of BDSM Practice (2024): See our analysis of this study here.
• Fifty Shades of Leather and Misogyny: An Investigation of Anti-Woman Perspectives among Leathermen (2020): See our analysis of this study here.
• An International Survey of BDSM Practitioner Demographics: The Evolution of Purpose for, Participation in, and Engagement with, Kink Activities (2023)
• It’s Complicated: Sex and the BDSM Subculture (2020): See our analysis of this study here.
• The Killing of Women in “Sex Games Gone Wrong”: An Analysis of Femicides in Great Britain 2000–2018 (2020): See our analysis of this study here.
• Is BDSM a Sexual Orientation or Serious Leisure? (2019): See our analysis of this study here.
• The Nature of Women’s Rape Fantasies: An Analysis of Prevalence, Frequency, and Contents (2009)
• Narratives of the Origins of Kinky Sexual Desire Held by Users of a Kink-Oriented Social Networking Website (2022)
• Participating in a Culture of Consent May Be Associated With Lower Rape-Supportive Beliefs (2016)
• Pathways and Patterns of Entrance into BDSM (2022)
• Playing with the Politics of Perversion: Policing BDSM, Pornography, and Black Female Sexuality (2016)
• Power, Desire, and Pleasure in Sexual Fantasies (2004)
• The Prevalence of BDSM in Finland and the Association between BDSM Interest and Personality Traits (2022)
• The Psychology of Kink: a Survey Study into the Relationships of Trauma and Attachment Style with BDSM Interests (2020)
• The Role of Consent in the Context of BDSM (2019)
• Social Dominance and Forceful Submission Fantasies: Feminine Pathology or Power? (2009)
• What Exactly Is an Unusual Sexual Fantasy? (2014)
• Women’s Erotic Rape Fantasies: An Evaluation of Theory and Research (2008)
• Women’s Rape Fantasies: An Empirical Evaluation of the Major Explanations (2012)

Required Reading

Refer to Rope Study’s Reducing Risk to learn about bondage safety, nerves and circulation, and more.

Articles/Books

• Better Bondage for Every Body: This book by Evie Vane is actually a collection of essays by bondage experts from around the world. Chapters focus on bondage for curvy bottoms, male bottoms, older bottoms, bottoms with special physical conditions, and more. There are also chapters devoted to stretching and anatomy.
• Complete Shibari: This series by Douglas Kent uses a clever “paint-by-numbers” shorthand to break the most complex ties into simple recipes.
• Consent and Negotiations: Detailed resource on all the ins and outs of consent by Shibari Study. While it’s geared toward rope bondage, much of it is applicable to BDSM as a whole.
• Foundations of Rope Bondage: A Fun and Friendly Introduction to Rope Fundamentals: The renowned bondage instructor TheDuchy details everything you need to know about basic rope ties and techniques in this guide that’s chock full of instructional photos.
• The History & Myths of Japanese Bondage: Midori dismantles the traditional Western story about the history of shibari, noting that “investing in a romantic but false narrative of a culture and its people is another form of “othering.”
• The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage: The famed Shibari instructor Midori explains step by step how to tie a number of beautiful Japanese bondage poses. She also provides helpful background information about the history of Shibari, rope selection, and other related topics.
• Tying & Flying: Bondage for Self-Suspension: This is a thorough and fantastic guide to self-suspension—and the only one on the market that we know of—by Shay Tiziano, a master of the art.

Tutorials (listed in order of complexity)

• Two Knotty Boys: This oldie but goodie is a well-organized single page of must-know ties to get you started. The free video tutorials don’t include voice-over, but the TKB show the steps of each tie clearly.
• Twisted Monk: Twisted Monk’s free videos use spoken instruction and focus on ties that can be learned quickly by a beginner. As an added bonus, they sometimes include the fabulous rope artist Midori.
• Crash Restraint: This site is a free progressive rope learning class which goes into detail on the hows and whys of equipment and ties. The site is moderately well maintained, but some of the more advanced ties have missing videos.
• The Duchy: This extensive and colorful site provides both illustrated step-by-step instructions and well-made videos, some of which are free. A serious downside is that most of the videos don’t include a live model, and none include a bottom’s perspective.
• Self-Suspension: Even if you’re a rigger who never bottoms, you can learn indispensable lessons from the excellent Shay Tiziano’s free videos.
• Shibari Study: Gorgone and other instructors use their world-class shibari artistry to teach a series of beautiful floor and suspension ties that pay particular attention to the comfort of the rope bottom. Available with a subscription.
• Bruce Esinem: This is the most comprehensive set of (expensive) Japanese-style rope tutorials available.

Rope bottoming resources

• Better Bottoming: Vetting, Skills and Safety Tips for Rope Bondage: In this video, Evie Lupine covers how to interview prospective rope tops, red flags to watch for, and the importance of doing your own research as a bottom.
• The Rope Bottom Guide: This free downloadable guide with photos covers basic safety for rope bottoms, including how to vet riggers and how to mitigate nerve damage. Available in multiple languages.
• Rope Bottoming Educators: Comprehensive list of rope bottoming instructors, mostly in the U.S. Must be a member of FetLife to access the link.
• Rope Bottoming Resources: Kink author and educator Evie Vane’s list of recommended resources for rope bottoms.
• Rope Bottoms’ Share Group: An online discussion group run by and for rope bottoms (or switches who wish to participate as bottoms). The main purpose of the group is to support one another as rope bottoms and vet tops. Must be a member of FetLife to access the link.
• Somatics for Rope Bottoms: This book by rope bottom and sexological bodyworker Natasha NawaTaNeko teaches rope bottoms how to become more aware of their bodies in rope to foster better communication, safety, and overall rope bondage experiences.

ROPE Sellers

• Agreeable Agony: Sells more than just rope, but we especially love their MFP rope, which is available in numerous colors.
• RebornRopes: We love their bamboo rope, but they also sell jute and hemp.
• Twisted Monk: Sells great quality rope of all types. You can even order a sampler that includes short pieces of a variety of rope types so you can see how they feel before buying the real thing.

• Esther Perel: Renowned couples therapist Perel has written and talked about desire, erotic intelligence, and relationships for decades. Her podcast, “Where Should We Begin?” allows listeners to be a fly on the wall during therapy sessions with real couples with intimacy issues.
• OMGYes: This unique website devoted to increasing women’s pleasure includes interviews with women about what gets them off in which they demonstrate on their own vulvas (in a non porny way). This is coupled with scientific information about women’s pleasure based on research conducted in partnership with the Kinsey Institute as well as simulations in which you get to practice the techniques shown on digital models of these real women’s vulvas as they give you feedback. It’s an excellent tool for women who want to get to know their own bodies better as well as for partners. A one-time fee for each season grants you permanent access. Season 1 focuses primarily on clitoral and vulvar stimulation, season 2 focuses more on penetration, and season 3 is about how to get the most out of toys.
• Slutever: This is Karley Sciortino’s “first-person account of a modern woman, navigating sex, love, casual hookups, open relationships, bisexuality, BDSM, breakups, sex work, sex parties, and the power of sexual agency, as told from the front lines.” It’s utterly engaging, insightful, and amusing.
• Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships: This book by sex educator and coach Stella Harris advises readers how to use communication skills to get the most out of their sex, kink, and love lives.
• What Consent Looks Like: This is a comprehensive overview of the ins and outs of consent in a sexual context put together by Helping Survivors of Sexual Abuse & Assault.