Basics

With the release of GPT5 on August 7, we thought it would be a good time to revisit how to use AI for BDSM scene planning. In our previous post about using AI in BDSM, we prompted four AI LLMs to generate specific scene ideas. This time, we reran those same prompts across five models and added a new prompt. Some of the results surprised us!

When we think back to the first knots and spanks that marked our BDSM journeys, we realize that the advice that would have helped our younger selves find better and more mind-blowing experiences are exactly the same things we still do today. Here are five tips that helped us navigate BDSM with curiosity and care.

“Start by pulling magic out of your fingers…”

—“The Invisible Toybox: Incorporating Energy Work into BDSM,” Raven Kaldera 

If you’ve been exploring BDSM for any length of time, you’ve undoubtedly stumbled across references to BDSM energy play, sex magic, and the like. A quick online search conjures up workshops on “exploring energy play in kink,” guides on using sex magic to “manifest positive life energy,” and D/s classes on “conscious energy flow, power exchange, and feeding.”  But what does any of this mean? In this post, we’ll translate these mystical concepts into plain facts.

About 10 years ago, I became single after a very long relationship and decided it was time to explore my kinky interests in the New York City BDSM scene. As a very introverted 30-something single man, I knew it wouldn’t be easy for me. I was aware that more straight men than women often attend BDSM events, and I had very little experience with BDSM. I wasn’t even sure exactly what I was interested in. I was curious about domination but also enjoyed certain types of “masochism.” Where to begin? 

For my first solo mission, I decided to go to a “munch,” an informal plainclothes hangout of kinky people. I came up with a strategy that led me to a series of kinky successes and might work for you, too.

We recently attended a virtual class on sub and top drop—a feeling of depression that can occur after BDSM scenes—and how to deal with it when it happens. The instructor made it sound as if drop is an inevitable byproduct of great BDSM scenes. This struck us as odd, considering we’ve done hundreds of scenes and have never once experienced drop! This led us to wonder what drop really is, what causes it, and how it can be avoided. We address these questions and more in this post.

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In a previous post about BDSM myths, we tackled common misconceptions that newcomers to BDSM often have, such as “pain is intrinsic to BDSM” and “real D/s dynamics are 24/7.” This time, we’re going to address several BDSM myths that are prevalent within the BDSM community and tend to spur debate when they come up.