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While much has already been written about Netflix’s four-part erotic thriller Obsession, the focus has been on the thin plot, overwrought music, and cringeworthy moments. But what about the BDSM and kink in Obsession that numerous click-baity headlines have mentioned? Just how kinky is this series? And is its portrayal of BDSM and kinky people authentic?
The Basics
Obsession is based on the novella Damage by Josephine Hart, which was made into a movie of the same name in the early 1990s starring Jeremy Irons and Juliette Binoche. The current iteration takes some liberties with the source material but sticks to the basic plot. William (Richard Armitage) is a successful English doctor who appears to have a happy marriage and two adult children. But when William meets his son’s girlfriend, Anna (Charlie Murphy), at a party, it’s lust at first sight. The two strike up a torrid affair that predictably and tragically destroys everything in its path.
The actors do their best with what they’ve got, but there’s very little character development. As a result, the audience doesn’t much care when William and Anna’s relationship inevitably combusts. Unfortunately, the BDSM aspects of Obsession end up falling just about as flat as the characters.
An Onscreen D/s Dynamic with Boundaries
The kinkiest part of this show is the D/s framework of Anna and William’s relationship, which begins almost from the moment they meet. Anna introduces herself to him at the party, and it’s clear they have an instant attraction. When Anna asks him if the drink he’s holding is for her, he removes the olive from it and puts it in her mouth. This might be a move straight out of the dom playbook, but William is the newbie here, not Anna.
Anna is no stereotypical submissive doormat. She knows what she wants from William and goes about getting it. When she summons him to their first illicit tryst, he lets himself into her flat and walks toward her. But Anna puts her hand up indicating he should stop. She walks over to him and undresses him. Then, she removes her underwear from beneath her skirt and lies on the floor, knees akimbo. She says one word—“yes”—that functions like a starter pistol. William immediately penetrates her.
The fact that Anna takes the lead is a refreshing change of pace from other mainstream BDSM fare, like 50 Shades. She’s the one who sets the rules of their dynamic. In episode 2, she tells William, “You wait for me to say when, you do not turn up uninvited, nothing happens beyond these walls without my permission. It is my choice to surrender to you. I give you your power and you accept that. In this room we can be whoever we want to be.” She then tells him to kneel so she can give herself to him.
The Kinky and Damaged Trope
A common problem in movies and shows about characters who are into BDSM is that they’re portrayed as damaged people, especially if they’re submissive. Sadly, this show is no different, even though some people involved in making the show don’t see it that way. According to one of the actors (Sonera Angel), the writer did a wonderful job “of writing the separation between Anna wanting to do BDSM and her starting an affair. It’s not that she’s messed up psychologically so she’s into BDSM. That just happens to be her kink and then she is [separately] having an affair, they aren’t connected.” While it may be true that Anna’s desire to start an affair isn’t connected to BDSM, Obsession doesn’t ultimately portray her interest in BDSM as something she just “happens” to be into.
We learn fairly early on that Anna has been traumatized and “damaged” (her word) by her brother’s incestuous obsession with her and his subsequent suicide. The fact that she tells William this after one of their kinky romps seems to indicate that her interest in BDSM isn’t a coincidence. Although Anna sets clear boundaries regarding her dynamic with William, it seems that she’s subconsciously using BDSM to punish herself. After another discussion with William about her brother’s suicide, he tries to console her, but she says she doesn’t want pity. He roughly wraps her dress sash around her neck and pulls her to the ground. She then tells him to hurt her, and he bites her arm very hard. She thanks him.
The punishment motif becomes more obvious near the end of the series. After Anna and William’s relationship ends in tragedy, Anna’s close friend tells her she needs to stop punishing herself, which seems a bit odd given that she’s just been involved in destroying a bunch of people’s lives. But taken in the context of a larger pattern in Anna’s life, this comment makes more sense.
The clincher is in the last scene of the final episode. Anna is sitting in a therapist’s office and says she doesn’t really know what the rules are. The therapist asks her if she wants rules and if that’s something she might need. Anna perks up as if she’s having a Pavlovian response to a man saying the word “rules.” But instead of being seduced by his phrasing, she simply says “how strange.” In other words, the idea of rules has no effect on her now because she’s recovering from her trauma and no longer has a need for D/s.
Another, more positive explanation for Anna’s interest in BDSM in Obsession is that she’s using it as a way to consciously process her past trauma and meet her sexual needs within boundaries she sets. However, the result is still the same: she determines she no longer needs BDSM because she’s starting to repair her damage.
Just a Dash of Dominance
And what of William? How is his dominance displayed? Essentially, he’s a dom who doesn’t realize it until Anna awakens this side of him. And once he discovers the world of D/s he succumbs to a kind of dom frenzy that results in increasingly unhinged behavior. That said, it seems like his dom tendencies probably wouldn’t exist outside of his relationship with Anna. He’s a dom primarily because she needs him to be, but he grows to need it as well in a grim, obsessive, sex-focused way.
Boring Sex
The sex itself in Obsession mostly consists of rather joyless looking quickies in various uncomfortable positions. These 15-second interludes are meant to connote intensity and passion but really just look like a repeated illustration of the orgasm gap. William always comes, of course, but Anna never seems to—presumably because she gets all the fulfillment she needs from the dynamic itself. Or, she thinks she doesn’t deserve to because she’s punishing herself.
Some of these scenes involve what a lot of people might call “light” BDSM—a little rope, some silk ribbons, a blindfold, hair pulling. But these toys are just used as props to signal that they’re kinky, not as evidence of any D/s connection outside of intercourse—besides the brief boundary-setting conversations—or of any kind of technical skills. In other words, do not look to this show to learn rope bondage.
The Book Does It Better
Though Obsession and the book it’s based on share the damaged sub trope and a story about a well-off man losing everything to lust, the most interesting and authentic BDSM elements are only in Hart’s novella. The consensual power exchange, though far from perfect, is woven deftly throughout the story and demonstrates that D/s power is shared in a way that most media never does. In the novella, Anna sums it up perfectly: “Kneel down before me now, and I shall be your slave.” If you’re looking for authentic BDSM, rather than softcore quickies on TV, we suggest the book.