Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM

Posts

BDSM for Beginners: The Complete Roadmap

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Basics, How-To Guides
July 31, 2025
41 Min Read
B
Woman leaning against a car looking at a map

Introduction

When you’re new to BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism), the amount of information available can be overwhelming and confusing. You might find yourself wondering if BDSM is really for you (we did!), if you can call yourself kinky if you’re not into all the letters in the abbreviation (yes!), or if you’re an imposter if you’re not interested in being someone’s full-time, live-in master or slave (you’re not!).

Welcome to Bound Together’s complete guide to BDSM for beginners. What follows is a practical roadmap for people who want to explore BDSM in the bedroom without adopting what’s known as a 24/7 lifestyle. We’ll cover all the basics:

(more…)
Read onAdd Comment

“Dying for Sex” Gets BDSM Right

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Entertainment
May 29, 2025
7 Min Read
“
A woman and man sitting next to each other on a couch, holding hands and looking at each other intensely
Michelle Williams as Molly, Jay Duplass as Steve in Dying for Sex. ©FX. CR: Sarah Shatz/FX

On the surface, the Disney+ miniseries Dying for Sex tells the true story of one woman’s erotic adventures as she grapples with terminal cancer. But it’s about much more than that. Through the show’s thoughtful and nuanced portrayal of BDSM, it explores themes of self-discovery, personal agency, and deep compassion. 

(more…)
Read onAdd Comment

Research Recap: What Role Does Porn Play in Learning about BDSM?

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Research
March 27, 2025
4 Min Read
R
Man looking at laptop with distressed expression on his face

As anyone exploring BDSM has likely discovered, finding reliable educational resources can be a challenge. While experienced kinksters often emphasize the importance of classes and community learning, many newbies turn to pornography to explore and learn about kink. But how well does porn actually educate people about BDSM? A February 2025 study by Iris Ryn Olson and Bryce Westlake examines this question, revealing the gaps, benefits, and risks of using porn as a learning tool about BDSM. Here’s what you need to know about the study.

(more…)
Read onAdd Comment

BDSM Movie Review and Recap: “Babygirl”

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Entertainment
February 27, 2025
11 Min Read
B
Move poster for Babygirl showing a woman looking up at a man's face. The poster says, "This Christmas get exactly what you want."

As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases made via one of the links below (at no additional cost to you). 

Depending on what you read, the premise of the erotic drama Babygirl is either believable and feminist or unbelievable and deeply unfeminist. The kink in the movie is either realistic and titillating or unrealistic and passe. The movie was either clearly made by someone with kink experience or by vanilla know-nothings. There have been so many contradictory takes on this movie it’s hard to know what to think.

But the director, Halina Reijn, has given us a huge hint about this tale of a high-powered female CEO’s D/s affair with a young male intern. In an interview with Cosmopolitan, she said, “We’re witnessing two people who are not doing it totally right. They have no experience in the Dom/sub world. My movie is a fable, it’s not a documentary. It’s a cautionary tale.” It’s through this lens that we’ll discuss the good and the bad of Babygirl. (This post does include spoilers.)

(more…)
Read onAdd Comment

The Ethics of Domination and Submission in BDSM

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Dominance, Submission
January 30, 2025
5 Min Read
T

Allegations of sexual abuse and assault against the famous author Neil Gaiman first came to light in 2024 via the podcast Master, which presented the accounts of four women who had been sexually involved with Gaiman. An article in Vulture in early 2025 brought renewed attention to those allegations and included the stories of additional women. 

Collectively, these accounts revealed a pattern: Gaiman seems to have sadistic dominant tendencies and picked vulnerable, mostly much younger, women to enact them with. In many of the cases, the women allege that they hated his treatment of them but felt compelled or coerced to consent. Gaiman’s position is that all of these relationships were entirely consensual. This raises important questions about the ethics of domination and submission in a BDSM dynamic.

(more…)
Read onAdd Comment

How to Use AI in BDSM

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In How-To Guides
December 26, 2024
7 Min Read
H

When people talk about generative AI, they’re usually referring to large language models (LLMs), which try to predict the best answer to your questions based on the published history of a topic.  You’ve probably used it to ask questions you would have Googled in the past (How long does it take to cook chicken thighs? What causes lake-effect snow?). Or maybe you’ve used it to do work-related tasks like draft code or revise the tone of an email you want to send. Some people find it fascinating and helpful, while others are deeply suspicious of its capabilities. Love it or hate it, one thing is clear: AI is here to stay. So, if you’re game, why not try to use it in BDSM? In this post, we’ll explain how AI can help you with two common BDSM tasks: coming up with scene ideas and writing a contract.

(more…)
Read on2 Comments

15 Kinky Gift Ideas for BDSM Lovers: 2024 Edition

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Entertainment
November 29, 2024
5 Min Read
1

As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases made via some of the links below (at no additional cost to you). We may earn from non-Amazon links as well.

When it comes to giving kinky gifts, it can be hard to know where to start. How do you find quality gear? What if you’re on a budget? What gifts are good for newbies versus experienced BDSM players? We’ve got you covered! There’s something on our list for every kinkster.

(more…)
Read onAdd Comment

A Guide to BDSM Brats and Brat Taming

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Dominance, How-To Guides, Submission
October 31, 2024
8 Min Read
A
Scene from The Breakfast Club of a group of teens sitting in a row sullenly.
A pack of brats.

“This rule is ridiculous,” the brat said, rolling their eyes. “And I’d break it again.”

The dom didn’t disagree. “You told me you want me to hold you accountable, and that’s what I intend to do.”

“Make me!”

With the end of Brat Summer and the dawn of Brat Fall, it’s high time to educate the world about brat play in BDSM. Being a brat is similar to what it sounds like, but in this guide to BDSM brats and brat taming we’ll dive into some of the nuances and complexities that other online resources often ignore. We’ll also continue the brat scene example drawn from real experiences that we started above.

(more…)
Read onAdd Comment
Bound Together
One couple’s insights into BDSM