Bound Together

Communication

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About CNC But Were Afraid to Ask

By Mimsy with contributions from Vagabond
In Communication, Dominance, Negotiation, Submission
November 2, 2019
18 Min Read
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Originally posted on September 25, 2018; updated on November 2, 2019

When I first started getting in touch with my kinky side, I became obsessed with consensual nonconsent (CNC)—also known as rape or ravishment fantasies—as a way to lose control. By obsessed I mean I thought about it daily, researched it constantly, and knew it was something I needed to do. I started reading Casual Encounters on Craigslist regularly (back when that section still existed) to see what my options might be. Ultimately I was too scared to go that route, though, and it wasn’t until I met Vagabond that I was able to make my dream come true. (more…)

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Playing at Your Own Risk: creating a Risk Profile

By vahavta, guest author
In Basics, Negotiation
August 27, 2019
7 Min Read
P

Hi there. It’s me, the bad bottom your DomlyDom mentor warned you about. I won’t use safewords, and I don’t have a limits list. I don’t play with people who want them. I don’t get what I need from kink when those things are on the table. 

Dangerous, right? 

First of all: yes. 

And also: a totally legitimate way to play. 

(more…)
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How to Negotiate the Kinky Sex of Your Dreams with the One You Love

By Mimsy with contributions from Vagabond
In Communication, Negotiation
January 10, 2019
6 Min Read
H

If you’ve spent more than a few minutes researching BDSM, you know that negotiation, or the process of deciding what will and will not happen in a scene, is one of the cornerstones. Much has been written about how to negotiate before a scene with a new play partner. Tools, from worksheets to checklists to illustrated guides, abound to help you cover all the bases and inspire you to dream up new fantasies. Here’s how to take those negotiation skills and weave them into the fabric of your relationship. (more…)

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SSC vs. RACK: What’s the Difference, and Does It Matter?

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Basics, Communication, Negotiation
October 9, 2018
4 Min Read
S

“I am a Dom (switch) and my sub has requested that I drug them and play with/use/have sex with them while they are asleep or near-asleep, in a drugged state. I’m wary . . . but I’d definitely try it if there was a guaranteed safe way of
doing this. . .” —Reddit

Early in our BDSM journeys, we both strongly connected with the popular mantra of practicing Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC) kink. We interpreted this abbreviation to mean that BDSM has an advantage over vanilla sex because of the deliberate acknowledgment of safety between partners. (more…)

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The Importance of a Shared Kink Language: A Conversation About Negotiation

By Mimsy and Vagabond
In Communication, Negotiation
July 18, 2018
3 Min Read
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Mimsy: On our first date, you mentioned the importance of having a “shared language” to talk about BDSM. Although I had some experience doing kinky things and had researched terminology, I didn’t quite grasp what you were getting at until later—namely that a shared language helps provide a framework for play and ensures that everyone who’s involved understands how negotiation should work.
(more…)

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Bound Together

Bound Together

One couple’s insights into BDSM. About us.






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