“Fetish Costumes Only! No Casual Street Clothes! No Jeans!” If you’ve ever considered going to a kink event but hesitated because of seemingly strict dress codes like this one, you’re not alone. The good news is that it’s very unlikely you’ll need to buy a closet full of fetish wear to attend a BDSM party. With a little creativity, you can whip up something perfectly suitable using what you already own.(more…)
For new doms, creating a good BDSM scene can seem as mysterious as cooking a gourmet meal without a recipe is to a novice in the kitchen. Where do you start? What ingredients do you use? What do you do if things don’t go according to plan? Here are our answers to those questions.(more…)
Spanking, flogging, and even whipping are all accepted forms of impact play for many kinksters, but rough body play—punching, slapping, kicking, and so on—can make even experienced players flinch (pun intended). Punching in particular seems to get a bad rap even though it can be an intensely visceral way of connecting to your partner if done the right way.(more…)
It’s easy to get a lot of things wrong about BDSM if you learn about it from pop culture, fashion magazines, and most of the top sites on the Internet. When Mimsy was new to BDSM, her education at Google University led her to wonder if there was a place for her in the community as a bedroom-only D/s enthusiast because it seemed like the scene was meant only for 24/7 lifestylers. When Vagabond was starting out, he thought BDSM was all about S/M, impact, and role playing and didn’t discover D/s until later. Over time, we separated the myths and misconceptions from the reality, and now we hope others can learn from our mistakes.(more…)
Hi there. It’s me, the bad bottom your DomlyDom mentor warned you about. I won’t use safewords, and I don’t have a limits list. I don’t play with people who want them. I don’t get what I need from kink when those things are on the table.
First of all: yes.
And also: a totally legitimate way to play.(more…)
How can you keep things kinky on the go when it’s not always feasible or practical to take all your BDSM gear along with you? Here’s how to avoid a vanilla vacation even when you’re traveling light.(more…)
From vanilla women’s magazines to online forums about kink, the first piece of advice that newbies to BDSM often get is to use a safeword. But the discussion about safewords often stops there. Let’s take a closer look at this often cited but poorly explained mainstay of BDSM.
The start of your submissive BDSM journey is an exciting time, but where do you begin? What signs should you look for along the way? What if you encounter obstacles? While there is no one true way to be submissive, there are some basic guideposts that will help you navigate the road ahead.(more…)
“Am I still a submissive if I only act that way in the bedroom?” “Am I still doing BDSM if I’m not doing it 24/7?” The answer is “of course!” but it’s no wonder that questions like these abound given the amount of conflicting information about BDSM that’s available and how much of it seems to ignore or belittle non-24/7 dynamics. If what you’ve read elsewhere makes you feel like an imposter, we’re here to set the record straight.(more…)
As the year comes to a close, it’s once again time to think about New Year’s resolutions. Rather than simply vowing to eat better and exercise more, why not add a kinky resolution to the list? Here are five ideas that are both valuable and achievable. (more…)